


Flicker

by seibelsays



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), F/M, Happy Ending, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sad with a Happy Ending, Soul Realm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-11-05 20:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seibelsays/pseuds/seibelsays
Summary: Was the battle in Wakanda really the end of everything? Or did it just feel that way?Or - what happened to the people who disappeared in the Snap?(Flirting. Flirting happened.)A story about tased muggers, exasperated friends, and at least one happily ever after.Written and posted pre-Endgame, so no spoilers here!





	1. Chapter 1

_How could I miss you if never met you_  
_If that road turned some other way and never looked back?_  
_“Motion Sickness” - Hands Like Houses_

* * *

Darcy plugged her left ear with her finger, trying to drown out the alarm going off in the lab. All around her, people were throwing equipment into crates and rushing out the door. She glanced down at her list and sighed.

“This is a mistake,” she muttered.

“Please be careful with that!” Jane yelled after one of the long-suffering techs.

“They’re professionals, Janey. They’ve got this,” Darcy reminded her.

“Our data is incomplete - if _any_ of this equipment is damaged, we won’t be able to continue our observations once we get to the new site.”

“All the more reason not to leave,” Darcy reminded, her voice lilting into a bit of a sing-song tone.

“I’m not having this argument again, Darcy.” Jane pulled a pen from her ponytail and crossed off a few things on Darcy’s list. “We’re leaving.”

“Where else are we going to have a better setup?”

“Nope. Not doing it.” Jane moved away, double checking the tape on a few boxes that were about to be loaded onto the trolley to be taken to the truck.

“Seriously - we’re in _Wakanda_. We have access to the best tech in the world. We have more funding than we know what to do with. _We are right smack underneath the damn anomaly_.”

“And there’s an enemy army headed straight for us!”

“Exactly!” Darcy yelled. “On the road, anything could happen. We’d be in the open, exposed, with no backup, no rescue. Anything could happen!”

“It wouldn’t be the first time we didn’t have any backup! We survived London just fine without SHIELD.”

“THOR SHOWED UP AND SMASHED SHIT!”

Jane winced at Thor’s name - and probably Darcy’s volume - but Darcy couldn’t bring herself to care. Much.

She took deep breath and lowered her voice. “Jane...What we’re doing _is_ important. But there’s a fight coming. Our friends are either already here or on the way. We should be here with them.”

“To do what?”

She slammed her clipboard on the desk. “We can help them!”

“How? We’re _civilians_ , Darcy. The most we can do is stun someone and we don’t even know if our weapons will work against what’s coming. We’re sitting ducks here. If we leave, that’s one less thing our friends will have to worry about.”

“If we stay, our friends will know if we’re alive or dead and then it really will be one less thing for them to worry about.”

***

Sergeant James Barnes shifted uncomfortably in the elevator. The new arm Shuri had designed for him was significantly lighter than the one HYDRA had forced on him, but he’d been living and working without a prosthetic for long enough now that it was going to take some getting used to. Nevermind the fact that he’d never _wanted_ a new arm. He could manage just fine with the one, thank you very much. He’d only agreed because he knew the fight that was coming. He would have to put his skills to use. Again. 

He was only a little bitter about it. Slightly. Maybe something like 42% bitter. That wasn't even a high enough percentage to make a decent dark chocolate. 

He glanced up at the floor level indicator and swallowed his sigh. Almost to the roof. Time to put those thoughts away and focus.

At least this arm didn’t itch.

The doors opened and shouting could be heard from one of the labs in the hall as he, Ayo, and the rest of his escort exited.

“I can’t run away with my tail between my legs while our friends are laying down their lives to protect the universe!” a female voice yelled.

_Ain’t that the truth, sweetheart._

“Why would you squander their sacrifice? If they die, it’s so that the rest of us can live.”

“Don’t throw that Steve Rogers bullshit at me!”

He paused just outside the lab at the mention of Steve’s name and peered inside. Two women didn’t appear to notice him amidst their argument.

“Ladies, we have to go,” one of the lab techs pled.

“NOT YET!” the women yelled in unison.

He grinned a little at their fire and felt himself drawn into the lab.

“Sergeant Barnes,” Ayo warned, “the jet is on approach. We should get to the roof.”

He startled and stepped back, nodding absently and following his escort. He glanced back at the two women as they continued to argue, their voices growing fainter as he continued down the hall. 

***

The van was silent as they they exited the tunnel, the wide open sky and Wakandan horizon exploding into view in front of them. Darcy seethed, too frustrated at running away to hook up any music. She stared out the window and watched the city grow smaller and smaller in the side mirror as Jane drove on.

They’d been on the road for an hour when they felt the first jolt. Jane glanced in the rearview mirror and gasped. Darcy spun around in her seat and tried to swallow down the lump in her throat as she watched explosions ricochet off the force field shielding the city. It was holding. For now. 

When the shield fell a half hour later, Darcy couldn’t blink back the tears that streamed down her face. Jane kept glancing in the rearview mirror, her face reflecting her horror.

“This is why we couldn’t stay, Darcy.”

“This is why we shouldn’t have left, Jane.”

***

Another hour of silence on the road had passed. Darcy refused to turn back around and face forward, watching the battle for as long as she could. There wasn’t much to see now - once the shield over the city had fallen, most of the fighting had likely moved to the ground. 

The sky darkened and clouds swirled overhead.

“Jane…”

Jane quickly pulled the car to the side of the road and hopped out, Darcy quickly following. An explosion of thunder deafened them as lightning lit up the sky.

“Is that…”

“I thought you said you watched Asgard be destroyed,” Darcy whispered. “Is there another BiFrost somewhere?”

“Thor…” Jane breathed. She blinked and the wonder on her face turned to resolve. “Get back in the van.”

“Janey-”

“We have to go back.” 

“ _Now_ you want to go back?” Darcy yelled.

“If Thor is on Earth, then that means at least some of his people survived. If I can get them our observations-”

“Jane, look at what’s happening!” Darcy held out her arms, gesturing all around them. “Wakanda has fallen. Okay? That lovely road we’ve been traveling? That tunnel we drove out of? Probably rubble at this point. There’s nowhere to go back to.”

A tear slipped down Jane’s face and she nodded. “You’re right,” she whispered. “You’ve been right. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Darce.”

Darcy sighed and walked over to her friend, reaching out to pull her into a hug.

And watched in horror as her hand began to crumble.

Darcy’s eyes flicked to Jane’s. They stared at each other in horror, silently watching as the other collapsed into dust.


	2. Chapter 2

_The smell of fear and blood and death mixed with the clean scent of the trees around them, the bright blue sky cheerful overhead despite the misery on the ground. The lull in the fighting had gone on just a beat too long. Something was wrong. There was a strange pull in his chest, nausea rising for the first time in years. His pulse quickened as his instincts screamed. Run. Hide. Something was -_

_Steve?_

He blinked awake, a name chasing him from his dreams as he regained consciousness. An uneasy feeling settled in his chest. A dream shouldn’t disquiet him this much - he didn’t even know anyone named Steve. It had been a violent dream, which wasn’t necessarily unusual for him. But this one had been a little stranger than what he usually saw behind his eyelids at night. There had been a talking racoon trying to...what had the racoon been doing? Trying to steal his leg? The more he tried to chase it, the faster the dream slipped away.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his vision. If he could just see, find something familiar to focus on, everything else would fall into place and he could shake off the remnants of this stupid dream.

Finally, his vision cleared and his bedroom swam into clarity. He took a few deep breaths while focusing on the bland and ambiguous art print of some generic landscape that hung across from his bed. He didn’t remember picking it out. But he must have at some point.

Right?

Coffee. He needed coffee.

He dragged himself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom to get ready for the day, hoping that a hot shower would clear his head and he could just get on with it.

Getting on with it was something he was good at.

***

The world outside felt too bright, like someone had taken the universe and dialed it up to 12. He hadn’t even been drinking, why did he feel hungover? He felt terrible enough that he skipped his usual pot of coffee at home and took the extra 10 minutes on the way into work to stop for espresso. The coffee maker hadn’t been silently judging him from the kitchen counter. It knew it wasn’t up to the task today. It gracefully bowed out and wished the coffee shop luck in pulling him out of...whatever this funk was.

The thought was weird. He didn’t have the energy to question where it came from though. Everything felt disjointed - scattered in a way that he hadn’t felt since coming back from the war. He had every intention of hiding behind his sunglasses for as long as he could feasibly get away with today. Sam would probably give him shit for it. Sam could blow him.

“Triple shot ristretto Americano with cinnamon powder,” the kid behind the counter called. The kid’s voice was too damn high - how old could he possibly be? Can they legally employ someone this young? Bucky glanced down at his name tag. 

“Thanks Peter.” Bucky dripped an extra bill in the tip jar. Peter gave him a tight smile as he handed over the espresso.

“You alright?” Bucky asked, suddenly concerned. He didn’t stop into the coffee shop often, but it was enough that the kid seemed familiar. Probably. His brain was a mess today, so really, anything was possible.

“Didn’t sleep well - astronomy final. Head full of space all night. And I think I’m coming down with something? I don’t feel so good.”

Bucky sympathized with the rough night but glanced down at the coffee the kid had just made him with a barely suppressed grimace. He didn’t really get sick all that often, but who wanted to tempt fate like that?

Peter noticed and immediately froze, realizing his mistake. “Oh no no no no! Not like that! I just-“

Bucky gave him a wry grin and turned to go. “See ya ‘round, kid.”

“Sorry!” Peter called after him.

As he left the coffee shop and turned to continue walking to work, he heard yelling coming from the alley across the street. He slowed his pace so he could get a better look, then dropped his coffee as he saw a thug in a mask dragging a girl behind the dumpster. He sprinted to the alley, ignoring the blaring horns of the cars that screeched to a halt in an effort not to hit him.

As he reached the alley, the thug was on the ground and twitching. He skidded to a stop as the girl spun and swung her taser in his direction. He instinctively raised his hands in a placating gesture.

“Whoa - hi. It’s okay. I heard you scream.”

She was breathing a little heavily, her eyes wild with adrenaline. After a moment she lowered the taser and nodded at him before looking back down at her attacker, who was groaning on the ground.

“He was freaking me out.”

He slowly lowered his hands and gave her a quick once over. She was shaken and a little disheveled, but didn’t look to be hurt at all. She pursed her lips and blew a lock of her long, dark hair out of her eyes, revealing a flash of startling blue hiding behind the black frames perched on her nose. There’s something very familiar about her, but he couldn’t quite place where he’d seen her before. Maybe he recognized her from around the neighborhood. Or maybe it the adrenaline - he was fairly certain he wouldn’t forget eyes like hers.

If someone had asked him this morning if he believed in love at first sight, he’d have laughed at them. But somehow in the last 10 seconds, he felt his entire universe shift to revolve around this woman. It was a ridiculous notion. He kind of liked ridiculous notions. 

Particularly when those ridiculous notions knew how to handle a taser.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m good,” she replied, her voice even despite the slight tremor in her hands. “Oh fuck me,” she muttered.

He followed her gaze and saw what looked to be a phone on the ground. She reached down to pick it up, revealing a smashed screen.

“Could use some help tossing this bastard into the dumpster though. And uh,” she wiggled the phone at him, “do you have a phone to call the cops and maybe me later?”

He blinked at her question. That had to be the shock talking, right? Pretty girls like her didn’t flirt with him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it over wordlessly, then grabbed the now unconscious would-be mugger and lifted him off the ground and hefted him over his good shoulder. He could feel appreciative eyes on him and he told himself that he didn’t like it. A little voice in his head reminded him that he was full of shit.

“Any idea which one of these dumpsters belongs to the Chinese restaurant?”

“Buddy, your brain is my new favorite place,” she replied as she waited for the call to connect and took a quick sniff of the air. “Smells like it could be that one,” she motioned to the second dumpster on her left. “Hey hi. I’d like to report an attempted mugging.” As she spoke with the police, Bucky shoved open the top of the dumpster and dropped the guy inside. He landed with a satisfying thud.

The girl grinned at him as she finished up her call. “Oh um, this is a good samaritan’s phone, the asshat who dragged me into the alley broke mine. One sec.” She motioned to Bucky. “Hey White Wolf, can the fuzz get your number?”

He nodded and rattled it off to her so she could repeat it to the operator on the phone. When she hung up, she started tapping something on Bucky’s phone. He eyed her, but didn’t say anything - she was probably just calling a friend for a ride or something.

Finally, she looked up at him. “Cops are on the way.”

“White Wolf?” he finally asked.

She grinned again. She was slightly gap-toothed and he was utterly charmed by her. 

“You arrived a little too late to save the damsel and be the white _knight_ , but you dispatched the asshat rather nicely all the same.” She laughed. “I don’t know, it made sense in my head.”

“Huh. It’s not bad. Maybe I’ll adopt it as a secret superhero code name.”

“Ooooh masked vigilante-ism. Very tragic backstory of you. Am I the origin story, or do I get to feature in later issues?”

He laughed. “Depends on how long you keep my phone.”

She pulled it a little closer to her chest. “Maybe I’ll hang onto it, then,” she teased, a mischievous glint in her eye.

He smirked despite himself. “Don’t know if I can let that slide.” 

She nodded sagely. “True. If I keep it, you’ll never find my number programmed into it.” She tossed the phone back to him with a wink. He fumbled it slightly, but managed to hang on.

“I’m Darcy, by the way. Don’t think I mentioned that.”

“Am I allowed to reveal my secret identity?”

“Depends on if you keep hiding behind those glasses like a mask and if I’m going to disappear after this issue.”

He pushed his glasses up and off his face, resting them on top of his head as he winced at the bright daylight. “I have a feeling you’re going to be a major character.” He couldn’t remember having a conversation this easy in years. He tried just to enjoy it, not overthink it. Anything to keep talking to her. He held out a hand. “Bucky.”

She grasped it. “Nice to meet you, Bucky.”

“Likewise, Darcy.”

Red and blue flashing lights caught his attention and pulled his gaze away from Darcy. She kept her grip on his hand as she waved to the officers who were climbing out of their car.

“Reality arrives,” she muttered. “Guess we should go talk to them.”

“I’m with you,” he replied, giving her hand a squeeze and what he hoped was a reassuring smile. All of his smiles were out of practice though - he hoped it didn’t look too much like a grimace.

“I’m counting on it, mister.”

They gave their statements to the police, who dismissed them with only the mildest of rebukes for tossing Darcy’s attacker in the dumpster.

“So,” Darcy said as the exited the alley, “what were you on your way to before getting pulled into my drama?”

“Work actually,” he glanced at his phone. He was an hour late and had six messages from Sam. Mother hen. “Shit,” he muttered.

“You have to go,” Darcy said, her voice resigned.

“Yeah,” he replied reluctantly.

She gave him a little smile. “Go. I’m good. I’m off to get a new phone.”

He hesitated and glanced down at his phone. “Your number is in here?” He just found this girl. Familiar as she seemed, he didn’t want to lose her. There was no guarantee he’d ever find her again. And she was going to be important, he could already tell. She had the look of someone who was going to break his heart. For the first time in longer than he could remember - hell, maybe for the first time ever - he was looking forward to it.

She nodded. “I’d say call me and prove it, but…” she waved her smashed phone. “You’ll just have to trust me when I say that I have a very big stake in you calling me later.”

“What kind of stake?”

Her grin grew. “Handsome, you’re either going to be a cautionary tale or the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m hoping you’re around long enough to figure out which.”

His heart skipped a beat. “Choices like that, maybe it’s both.”

“Oooh, I like this take. Did I mention your brain is my new favorite place? Because it is.”

His stomach swooped as his phone buzzed with a message. Probably Sam again.

“Go on, superhero man,” she grinned. “Call me tonight, so I can get started on that cautionary tale.”

He took a few steps back, not quite willing to turn away from her just yet. “What about the best thing to ever happen to you?”

“That comes later.”


	3. Chapter 3

_“Oh and just like that we’re supposed to be cool?”_

Bucky jolted out of his doze as Sam smacked his feet off of his desk and plopped down in the empty chair across from him. Bucky groaned softly as he rubbed his eyes under his sunglasses.

“Sam,” he grunted.

“Man, take the damn glasses off. Seriously, you show up two hours late and now you’re napping over lunch.”

Bucky pushed his sunglasses up to rest on his head and gave Sam a sheepish smile.

Sam looked at him critically. “You look like shit.”

“There’s been a lack of five star hotels recently.”

“Must be somethin’ goin’ around. I swear everyone in here is a zombie today.”

Bucky didn’t reply, just pinched the bridge of his nose to try to get the headache to subside.

“So was that it? Just woke up awful this morning?”

“Stopped for coffee. Ran into a situation.”

Sam’s eyebrows climbed into his hairline. “A situation?” 

Bucky shrugged and looked away. “Mugging. I stopped to help but she had it handled.”

Sam leaned forward. “Oh?”

Bucky felt a smile tug at his lips. “She asked if I would dump her unconscious attacker’s body in the dumpster.”

Sam grinned back. “And now you’re smitten.”

“Just a bit.”

“You do anything about it?”

Bucky looked down at his hands as he fidgeted with his phone. “She gave me her number. Asked me to call her tonight.”

“And you’re going to? Right?”

Bucky sighed. Trust Sam to push. “I want to.”

Sam’s face was carefully neutral. “But?”

“Come on, Sam. You and I both know I’m not good for anybody.”

“That’s a damn lie.” Sam got up and stepped towards the door of the office. “One day you’ll realize it. Call her. Ask her out. Even if nothing comes of it, it’ll be good for you to get out of the house for something other than work for once.”

“I leave the house!”

“You go three places. Work, gym, coffee shop.”

“So?”

Sam shook his head. “There is more to life than that.”

“Maybe for you,” he replied softly.

Sam huffed. “Call her. Or next time we have to visit a site, I’m stuffing you in the back of the car and I won’t move my seat up.” With that, he turned and exited the office.

“You’re just jealous of my legs!” Bucky yelled after him.

***

His phone buzzed while he waited for his rather ancient computer to calculate the index arrays of his spreadsheet. He blinked down at it in confusion. No one ever messaged him. Well, Sam did, occasionally. Sam was about the only person trying to pull him back into the world. But Sam was right down the hall and clearly had no compunction about invading Bucky’s office. He flipped the phone over and peeked at the message preview.

_Unknown number: Hey hot helper - did my sister at least buy you coffee for your trouble?_

He unlocked the phone and pulled up the message app. Just above the new message was one sent from his phone to this unknown number timestamped this morning.

_Hey girl. Got caught up with the man. Help a sister out and meet me at Think on 8th? Number is hot helper, so DNR._

Darcy.

Whoever Darcy had messaged after she called the police was now messaging _him_ even though Darcy had clearly asked them not to reply to the number. Interesting.

He briefly wondered if that meant Darcy and her friends frequented his coffee shop - the 8th Ave Think Coffee was his local favorite. The thought of stopping in again tomorrow and asking Peter crossed his mind before he dismissed it. He had her number and been given explicit permission to use it. He didn’t need to poke around the shadows looking for details about Darcy. That would just make him creepy. More creepy than people already found him, anyway. Sam always reminded him that he was creepy.

He shook those thoughts away. There was an unexpected opportunity here. He tapped out a reply.

_Afraid I had to run before she had the chance._

His phone buzzed again almost immediately.

_Unknown number: The way she’s talking, she might have me convinced you’re some sort of comic book superhero._

He smiled a little - Darcy must have at least alluded to the specifics of their conversation while she was telling this person - a sibling, apparently - about her ordeal. He set the phone face down on the desk and checked his spreadsheet. Still calculating. With a sigh, he picked the phone back up again and sent a reply before he could talk himself out of it.

_Only on nights and weekends._

The thing was - things like this didn’t happen to him. People like Darcy - smart, sassy, sexy Darcy - _do not happen to him_. People like Darcy exist in a world outside his periphery. He had his path. Alone. Darcy existed above and beyond him, far outside of his reach.

It hadn’t always been this way, he didn’t think. He remembered a time when he would have shamelessly flirted with her, easy as breathing. When he wouldn’t have hesitated to ask her out, maybe take her dancing or to a show. 

But then he went to war and got himself blown up and now everything was different. He was different. Was it fair to subject Darcy to that? She’d seemed to like him right away, despite the hair and the fact that he’d been hiding behind his sunglasses. She probably hadn’t noticed the weakness in his left arm and he knew the worst of the scars had been covered - maybe she’d still like him despite those things too.

Heaven knew he’d really loved - liked, he really _liked_ her.

The thoughts plagued him the rest of the day. He operated entirely on autopilot, reliving the conversation with Darcy over and over and over in his mind as he went through the motions of his job. Who would have thought disaster restoration involved so much paperwork? At least when they were on a job site he felt like he was accomplishing something - helping people put their lives back together, get back a little bit of what they lost. Office days made him feel like he was stuck in quicksand, drowning in paperwork and unable to ever dig himself out.

When he finally got home that night, he hung his keys on the hook by the door, kicked off his shoes onto the mat, and slumped into the couch. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the small list of contacts.

_~*Darcy 💞*~_

Before he could talk himself out of it, he tapped the number and felt the butterflies rise in his stomach.

“Please be real, please be real, please be real,” he muttered to himself as the call connected.

_“If you’re someone from my old university wanting money and not a sexy do-gooder, I’m going to be very disappointed.”_

He couldn’t stop the grin from taking over his face. “Hey Darcy.”

_“Hey yourself, gorgeous. You got somethin’ you wanna ask me?”_

“Will you marry me?” The question slipped out without his permission and he slapped a hand over his mouth.

Darcy laughed. _“I’ll get back to you on that one, but I like where your head’s at. Aim just a touch lower and try again.”_

He screwed his eyes shut. “Dinner?” he asked hopefully.

_“Name a time and place. I’ll be there in my best dress.”_

Her tone gave him courage. “Second best dress. Gotta save somethin’ for the wedding.”

Darcy paused and Bucky's heart stopped. _“Oh you are going to be so much trouble, aren’t you?”_

He chewed on his lip for a moment. “The good kind of trouble though, right?” he asked quietly.

_“I’m counting on it.”_

***

Darcy slid her hand into his as he walked her home. Their date had been simple, just dinner at a halfway decent restaurant. Not too crowded, not too fancy. Darcy had beamed at him the entire time like he’d taken her to a royal feast on another planet or something. And now her hand fit into his as though it had always meant to be there and he was pretty sure he was actually dead or in a coma and this whole thing was just a dream.

“Tell me something, my guy,” Darcy said, swinging their joined hands a little and interrupting his thoughts. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yes,” he replied immediately, then shifted uncomfortably at the realization that he probably sounded overeager.

“I did too,” Darcy smiled as she pulled them to a stop in front of her building. “I’d _like_ to do it again. Soon.”

“Yeah?” he asked, and cursed the hopeful tone of his voice.

“Yes.” Darcy leaned in a pressed a kiss to his cheek. His overactive imagination told him she lingered a little before stepping back.

“Maybe next time you could try to be a little less perfect, okay Superman?”

“‘M not Superman,” he muttered, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he stared at his feet.

“No,” she agreed, “you’re right. You’re better.”

He snapped his eyes up to catch her grin. 

“See you soon, handsome,” she said and turned to go.

He watched her go, indecision warring in his chest, his inner voice screaming at him to say something. Anything.

“Fuck it,” he muttered. “Darcy!”

She turned back and skipped down a few steps until she was standing in front of him again. She hadn’t quite reached the sidewalk, so she was just at his eye level.

“Yes?” she asked, her eyebrow raised in a silent challenge.

“How’s tomorrow sound?”

Her face broke into an enormous grin and she reached forward to tug him closer. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Sounds perfect.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She leaned in again and kissed him again, longer this time and filled with all kinds of sweet promises he never thought he’d ever see. He kept his hands firmly at her sides, but allowed his thumbs to lightly brush her ribs, anchoring himself to her as gravity gave up around him.

Her startled giggle broke the kiss. “You’re doing a really great job of ruining me for anyone else, you know that?”

“I don’t - I don’t even know what to say to that,” he muttered, shaking his head.

She nudged his nose with hers. “Text me in the morning with the details of whatever you’re planning for tomorrow, okay?”

“I will.”

She leaned in again, close enough for their breath to mingle, then pulled away with a smile. He stumbled a step trying to follow her and Darcy was kind enough not to laugh at him.

“Sweet dreams, handsome.”


	4. Chapter 4

_“Your mom’s name was Sarah...”_

Movement in the kitchen roused Bucky from his light sleep. He scrubbed his face with this hands and groaned a little.

“Newspaper...” he mumbled, trying to shake the strange dream. He shifted his shoulder a little. Who dreams about getting their arm caught in a vice? Dreams had meanings or something, right? Maybe he should look that one up.

The smell of coffee wafted into the room and he perked up a little. If Becca made it, it would be perfect. If it was his ma...well, he would grin and bear the watery brew until her back was turned and he could make proper coffee. At least it wasn’t Steve - Steve couldn’t make coffee to save his life.

He blinked and stared at the art print he still didn’t remember buying. Steve again. And who the hell was Becca? And _ma_? He hadn’t seen or heard from his mother since the day he was born. He’d been dropped into the system almost immediately - hell, he didn’t even think she’d given him his _name_. He must still be dreaming.

Dreaming of having a family...that was new. 

Sort of.

He shook himself as he heard another muffled thump from the kitchen. Who the hell was in his house? 

Bucky threw back the covers and froze as he noted that the side next to him was mussed and still warm. His brow furrowed in confusion as he silently climbed out of bed. He crept through the hall and peeked around the corner.

Darcy Lewis stood in his kitchen, tapping her fingers against the counter as she waited for the coffee, wearing his well-loved red henley and not much else. The shirt slipped a little off her shoulder as she swept her chestnut curls away from her face.

The previous night came flooding back to him, chasing away the last remnants of his dream. Dinner at Osteria. The one-man _Star Wars_ re-enactment at the Gramercy. Inviting Darcy to come in.

They’d seen each other almost every day since they first met, always making time to meet up. Even if they couldn’t go out for a proper date for one reason or another, she would swing by for a quick coffee date in the morning or he would surprise her at her office for lunch. Even when he had to shift something in his admittedly light schedule around, he never felt like it was too much of an effort. 

Call him greedy. He wanted as much of her time as she was willing to give. Fortunately for him, she seemed to feel the same way.

It had only been a few weeks. No time at all, really, when one thought about it. But he was head over heels for her. Absolutely, positively smitten. It was different from the first flush of infatuation - he didn’t think this was a feeling that would pass. There was a weight to it, a settled, solid, _something_ that screamed at him that this was important. That Darcy was important. To treat her well and never, ever let her go.

Watching her in his kitchen, he never wanted to let her go. The force of the feeling almost knocked him backward and he reached out to steady himself on the wall. He wanted this - the simple pleasure of Darcy in his kitchen, making coffee for them when they woke up in the morning. 

It wasn’t because he was lonely. Well - okay, that was part of it. But he didn’t just want a warm body - he didn’t want just anyone. 

No, this was all Darcy. She’d barreled into his life with a smirk and a taser and grabbed ahold of his heart with sass and care and more love in a few weeks than he could remember ever being directed at him in the sum of his life. She was everything good about the universe and she had no business wanting a monster like him.

Wait.

He wasn’t perfect - not by any measure. But monster was a bit strong. It wasn’t a word he would generally ascribe to himself. He knew he tried to be a good guy - maybe not a saint or a hero like Steve or anything, but a good guy nonetheless. Why was his brain digging up words like _monster_? 

And...Steve again? What the hell?

Darcy looked up and her smile lit up the world, pulling him from his thoughts. “Hey there, handsome. I’ve been waiting for you.” She leaned forward and reached for him, tugging him into the kitchen so she could wrap her arms around his neck.

His arms immediately wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. She beamed at him and leaned in for a good morning kiss. He tried to keep it chaste, he really did - he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet after all - but she hummed with pleasure and pulled him in. He had no defense against that. He really didn’t want one, either.

She nudged his nose. “I need to know how you like your eggs, mister.”

“I’ll make breakfast-”

“Mmm-mmm,” she hummed in dissent, as she swayed slightly, leading them in a small approximation of a slow dance. “Nope. I need to know.”

He bumped her nose with his in response. “Why’s that?”

“Science,” she said, pitching her voice low.

“Science,” he returned flatly.

She grinned. “If I’m going to wake up in your bed on the regular, the least I can do is make breakfast.”

He stilled. “You want...you wanna do this again?”

She rubbed her lips together, a rare burst of insecurity flashing through her eyes. “If you do,” she murmured.

“Baby, if it were up to me, you’d never leave.” He refrained from clapping a hand over his mouth. Honestly, one of these days, his mouth was going to run away from him somewhere that Darcy didn’t want to go and this whole thing would come crashing down on his head. His arms tightened infinitesimally around her at the thought.

She grinned again and leaned in for another kiss. Apparently, today was not the day everything ended. “This is so fast. This feels really fast, doesn’t it? I shouldn’t be this attached this quickly.”

He nodded. “I know. You wanna slow down?”

“Fuck no!”

He laughed. “Thank god. I’m not sure what I would have done with myself.” He gently ghosted a kiss over the shell of her ear. “I’m rather addicted to you, Darcy Lewis,” he murmured.

He felt a shift in her weight. “Okay, that literally just made me weak in the knees, you complete and utter _bastard_.” 

His chuckle quickly turned into a weak, strangled yelp as she leaned in and gently sucked on the pulse point on his neck. His breath hitched as she soothed the mark with her tongue. 

“Turnabout,” she whispered.

“You are so very bad for me.”

She hummed, smirking, then finally - reluctantly - pulled out of the warmth of his embrace and turned back to the coffee maker.

“Where are your mugs and how do you like your eggs?”

He couldn’t stop the grin from taking over his face as he pulled down the mugs and directed her through his kitchen. Darcy was here. She wanted to keep being here.

Bucky was pretty sure that in this moment his life was perfect. Darcy bumped him with her hip as she dumped eggs from the pan onto his plate and gave him a smile. 

A smile that promised it was only going to get better from here.

***

Sam stopped short just as they walked into the bar and glared at Bucky. “Why am I here?”

“I’m meeting Darcy’s sister Jane for the first time and Darcy suggested I bring a friend along. Get all the ‘meeting the important others in our lives’ done at once. Less stressful, according to her.”

Sam looked skeptical. “I’m an ‘important other’ to you?”

“You didn’t have any other plans tonight.”

“I was almost touched, Barnes. We almost had a moment.”

“Don’t get used to it. Darcy hasn’t quite grasped the severity of my faults yet and you’re a decent enough actor when you don’t want to hurt someone.”

Darcy finally looked their way and waved. 

“Now you can’t leave me,” Bucky said to Sam as he returned Darcy’s wave. “She’s seen your face and will hunt you down.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Sam muttered and gestured for Bucky to lead the way.

After the introductions were made and the awkward small talk and necessary scramble over food and beverage orders were dispensed with, the four quickly warmed to each other. The conversation moved seamlessly from harmless over appetizers to teasing over dinner.

“You just think Bucky here hung the moon,” Jane needled gently.

Darcy nodded, completely shameless in her assertion. “And I will continue to do so until presented with evidence otherwise.”

Bucky felt his face warm and hated the look of glee on Sam’s face. He aimed a kick under the table in Sam’s direction but missed, which only made Sam’s grin bigger.

Darcy pointed a french fry in Sam’s direction, dripping cheese sauce on the table. “Can you prove he _didn’t_ hang the moon, Smirking McGee?”

“I could work on it, but…” Sam shrugged

“Proving a negative is a fool's errand,” Jane said picking through the chips on the table, apparently looking for an especially salted one. “I could say that you’re making a mess of the table and point to the evidence-”

“Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, therefore you cannot prove that Bucky didn’t hang the moon,” Darcy interrupted and stuffed a few fries in her mouth in triumph.

“I could just _tell_ you I didn’t hang the moon,” Bucky argued.

“And no one at this table would believe you, Buckster.”

“I might,” Sam muttered.

“I think your logic is flawed, sweetheart,” Bucky said, ignoring Sam.

“My logic is perfect,” Darcy argue with a teasing smile.

“Bias then.”

Darcy tilted her head in concession. “Guilty.” 

“Why are we arguing about Bucky hanging the moon, when clearly the evidence proves that our glasses are empty and it’s his turn to buy a round?” Jane asked.

“Yeah, Buck,” Sam said, leaning back in his chair. “You’re up.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he grumbled. “Everyone wants the same?” Seeing three nods of ascent, Bucky pushed back from the table and made his way over to the bar.

“I like her,” Sam said, sneaking up behind him as he gave the bartender his order.

“She’s taken,” Bucky replied.

Sam laughed. “I can still like her. She brings out something good in you. I haven’t seen you laugh this much in a long time. Maybe ever.”

“Yeah well. I’ll screw it up, sooner rather than later, so. I’m glad you got to meet her before that happened.”

Sam shook his head. “One day, I hope that girl tells you she thinks you hung the moon and you actually believe her.”

“That might be a nice day,” Bucky admitted.

“It might be. Might be a day worth working toward.”

“Maybe.” The bartender placed four drinks in front of Bucky and updated their tab. Bucky slid two drinks towards Sam to carry back to the table.

“I’m gonna have to deal with the fallout of your big ass ego if that ever happens, though, so give me some warning?”

Bucky grinned and picked up the other two drinks. “What kind of friend does that make you, huh?”

“Oh no, I’m not a friend. I just didn’t have any other plans tonight. Asshole.”


	5. Chapter 5

_“You know me!”_

_“NO I DON’T!”_

The slam of the front door shook Bucky out of his stupor and he rubbed his eyes. It felt like he was doing more and more of that recently - just drifting off into his thoughts while the world around him spun on. Maybe he should talk to a doctor.

The thought of sterile rooms and white lab coats sent a chill down his spine. Okay, maybe not a doctor. Maybe he could - 

“Babe?” Darcy called, interrupting whatever dark path his thoughts had been about to spiral down. He heard her set her keys and purse down on the table as she made her way into the kitchen where he had been attempting to brew coffee. 

“Hey you,” she said softly, coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his middle and place a soft kiss between his shoulder blades. “You didn’t answer your phone, so I let myself in. That okay?”

“Gave you a key for a reason, Darce,” he said, matching her volume and covering his hands with his. “I want you to use it.”

She hummed happily and nuzzled his back a little before tugging lightly at his hips so he would turn around to face her. Her smile softened into concern when she got a look at his face. 

“Baby, you feeling alright? Your eyes are all bloodshot.”

“Tired.”

She stroked his hair and he leaned into her touch. “Out celebrating with Sam too late last night or...did you not sleep well?”

It was a kind way of asking if he’d had another nightmare. The first time he’d had one with Darcy in his bed, he’d almost called this whole thing off. Didn’t want to scare her, hurt her - put her through any of his nonsense. She had steadfastly refused to accept that and the next time he saw her she was up to her eyeballs in reference materials and self-help books trying to learn how to help and support him.

He really didn’t deserve her.

“Just weird dreams. Not...not bad ones.”

She nodded her understanding. “Ah. The mysterious Steve again?”

“Yeah.”

“If I ever meet a Steve, I’ll probably yell at him in retaliation just for the association.”

He chuckled a little. “Some days I would definitely like to beat the hell out of him. Other days aren’t so bad.”

“How’s today?”

He gave her a rueful grin. “It’s a beat the hell out of him day.”

Darcy smiled, but it was tinged with sadness and Bucky didn’t resist the urge to kiss it off her face. 

“Wanna skip today?” she asked. “I can scram so you can get some rest.”

“No, no. I want to. Been lookin’ forward to spending the day with you.”

An affectionate noise emanated from her throat. “We can just hole up here - cuddle up in that wondrous bed of yours. Order in takeout. Hide from the Steves of the world.”

“No, we have plans.”

“Baby, I don’t care where we are or what we do. If I’m with you, I’m happy. And besides,” she grasped his hips gently and tugged him closer, a mischievous smile on her face, “it _is_ your birthday.”

“Oh is it?”

Darcy nodded. “Never let it be said I don’t spoil my best guy on his birthday.”

“You spoil me every day.”

“Well I try. But birthdays are my specialty.” 

Bucky dropped his head to her shoulder and relaxed into her touch as she gently scraped her nails across his nape. “Okay. Today we’ll stay in here. Tomorrow though - tomorrow I’m taking you out and we’ll do everything we planned. I promise you - and I’m good for it, you know that.”

“I know, baby. I trust you.”

***

Bucky wrapped his arm around Darcy’s shoulders and she snuggled closer into his side, causing his heart to leap as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Darcy had never been on the tramway and he liked surprising her with little trips to be tourists in their own city. 

He snuck a look at their reflection in the tram window as they floated through the sky over the East River on their way to Roosevelt Island. Who the hell was that happy schmoe wearing his face? The thought turned into a bit of a happiness loop - the happier he realized he was, the happier he become. He had to look away from their reflection before he became giddy with laughter.

“Hey Buck?” Darcy asked, her quiet question muffled a little by his jacket.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I have an idea that I want to run by you.”

“Of course. What’s up?”

Her eyes fluttered open and she bit her lip. He squeezed her shoulders slightly, trying to gently encourage her to say whatever was on her mind. She nuzzled his shoulder briefly and took a deep breath.

“It’s been a couple months and things are going pretty good, don’t you think? With you and me, I mean.”

“Baby,” he whispered, “you know...I’ve never been happier. As far as I’m concerned...things are perfect.” His stomach dropped. “Right? You...you think so too, don’t you?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” she replied quickly. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make you nervous. This is a good conversation, I think.”

The unsettled feeling didn’t quite ease with her reassurance and he tugged her closer still, trying to soak in the comfort her closeness provided.

“Okay. So…”

“So I was thinking...maybe...it would be really cool if we thought about...um…” her voice trailed off.

Whatever she was trying to ask was clearly wearing on her. He shoved down his own unease so he could support her.

“You can ask me anything, Darcy,” he whispered in her ear. “Anything at all.”

Her eyes fluttered closed as he spoke and she nodded. She took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then opened her eyes and smiled at him.

“I think we should get a puppy. Not - I adopt a puppy and he comes with me when I stay over. But...we should adopt him...together. Both our names.”

“A puppy?” he asked.

“Together,” she affirmed.

Bucky blinked. “That...that sounds pretty permanent.”

Darcy’s lip trembled slightly, but she raised her chin and gave him a challenging look. “Scared?”

“Hell no,” he replied immediately. “You want permanent, you got it. You want the moon, I’ll pull it from the sky for you.” He leaned close and brushed his lips against hers. In that moment, he realized that he hadn’t been doing a good job of communicating to Darcy how he felt. The words that had been a little bit intimidating before suddenly came easily.

“I love you, Darcy,” he murmured. “So much. So you want to go to a rescue today and find our pup, let’s go. I’m ready. Anything you want. I’m with you.”

“I love you, too, Bucky,” Darcy whispered. 

“Yeah?” he breathed, hardly willing to speak and risk breaking the spell and completely unable to believe his luck.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

He pressed his lips to hers again and lost all track of time as he lost himself in her. She loved him. He was in love with her and she loved him back and there really wasn’t anything in the entire universe that could ruin this moment. Aliens could fall out of the sky and he wouldn’t care. 

The tram shifted slightly and the moment passed.

“Probably shouldn’t have had this conversation in public,” Darcy laughed, her eyes glazed. “I want to take you apart right here.”

He laughed and folded himself into her, resting his head on her shoulder. She reached up and ran her hand through his hair.

After a moment, he raised his head to look her in the eyes. “We have forever to get it right, don’t we?”

“I like the sound of that,” she whispered. “Forever with you.”

“You have it.” He tucked some of her hair back behind her ear. “God, Darcy. I know it’s fast.”

“ _Really_ fast. We met like four months ago.”

He grinned at her. “Best four months of my life, though.”

Her smile wilted slightly. “I don’t want that to ever change. I want every day with you to be better than any day without you. Even the bad days.”

Bucky nodded. “We’ll make it work, right?” He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “Promise me we can make it work?”

“I promise.”

He pulled away slightly. “I know we were kinda looking forward to the park, but...maybe we could head straight for the rescue and go find our pup?”

Darcy nodded. “Let’s go find him. Let’s go bring him home.”

***

Darcy pulled up the animal shelter’s website and flipped through the photos of available dogs while they made their way to the shelter. Bucky paid special attention to the tiny noises she made as she examined each dog’s photos and information. A soft chuckle was mostly dismissed. A sympathetic hum was categorized as a maybe. But only one dog elicited a short, sharp gasp. He hooked his chin over her shoulder so he could see the profile. 

“That our little guy?”

He could feel Darcy was practically vibrating with excitement, but she kept her voice even and a little disinterested. “Maybe. We have to meet him. Make sure we’re a good fit for him.”

Bucky was fairly certain that Darcy would turn her entire world inside out for the puppy on the screen, but didn’t comment. “He’s so tiny,” he said instead.

“Might be an old photo. Or he’s tiny. Maybe he’s tiny, but fierce, like Jane.”

“Maybe he’s huge but with a tiny sense of humor like Sam.”

Darcy laughed and burrowed further into his side. “Be nice to Sammy. He’s our friend.”

“Yeah yeah. Sam and I are assholes to each other. It’s just how it is.”

“You love him dearly and you know it.”

“He good for keeping me out of my own head,” Bucky admitted.

“And I love him for that,” Darcy said. “Now - let’s go meet this pup.”

***

Bucky tilted his head as he considered the dog wagging his tail excitedly at his feet. “I thought you were smaller.”

Darcy gently elbowed his ribs. “Told you it was an old photo.”

“He’s huge.”

“He’s perfect.”

Bucky knelt down to scratch behind the dog’s ears. “What’s his name?”

“Baker,” Darcy replied immediately.

Bucky looked around for a tag, but there wasn’t a name on the collar the shelter provided, just an address. “Where do you see that?”

Darcy shrugged. “I just named him ten seconds ago.”

Bucky laughed and the volunteer helping them tried and failed to bite back a grin.

“What do you say, Baker?” Bucky asked the dog. “Want to come home with us?” He received an excited yip and a wet doggie kiss in response.

“That’s a yes,” Darcy smiled. 

“I’ll take him back to get his stuff together, if you want to head to the front to finish filling out the paperwork.” The volunteer coaxed Baker away, leaving Darcy and Bucky to find their way back to the front desk.

“I miss you!” Darcy called to Baker, who looked back with a soft whine, but continued to follow the volunteer.

Bucky wrapped an arm around Darcy’s shoulders and led her to the front, where they were met with another volunteer and a stack of paperwork. Darcy grabbed a pen and started filling out the forms.

“Which address do we want to use? Or should I just make up something in Jersey?” Darcy teased.

Bucky stared at her for a moment, struck by a sudden panic that he couldn’t identify. He swallowed it down and leaned close to Darcy’s ear.

“Ours,” he murmured.

“Huh?”

“Move in with me.”

Darcy turned to him, surprise in her eyes. “You weren’t kidding about that permanent thing, were you? You’re really all in.”

He nosed at her temple. “I want you with me.” _I need you with me._

A smile crept across Darcy’s face before she school her featured into feigned indifference. “You do have better closets.”

The panic in his chest vanished. Darcy wanted to be with him. Darcy wanted to stay. 

“I love you, Darcy,” he murmured in her ear.

She smiled up at him. “I love you too, handsome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 102nd birthday Bucky Barnes!


	6. Chapter 6

_“Where are we going?”_

_“The future.”_

Bucky slowly climbed to consciousness. There was a warm, soft weight at his side and hair tickling his nose. The weight at his side shifted, and he felt warm breath on his shoulder as someone nuzzled his neck.

_Darcy._

He smiled, his eyes still closed, as Darcy placed soft kisses along his jaw and peppered her way to his shoulder.

“Good morning, handsome,” she murmured into his chest.

He turned his head and finally opened his eyes. “Have I ever mentioned that waking up next to you is my favorite thing in the universe?” he said, his voice rough with sleep.

A slow, lazy smile spread across her face as she raised her head to look at him. “Once or twice,” she whispered, “a day. Every day since I moved in. A year ago.” She leaned in to give him his good morning kiss.

He kissed her thoroughly, twisting his hands through her hair and pulling her half on top of him. She returned his enthusiasm, until he finally felt her smile against his lips and swat lightly at his hip.

“Breakfast,” she whined against his lips with a giggle.

“You’re breakfast,” he muttered back, pulling her back in for another kiss.

Darcy made a frustrated sound in her throat that made him chuckle. She took the opportunity to escape his clutches and stumble out of their bed and out of the room. 

He scrubbed his face with his hands and sat up. He stared at the always frustrating art print for a moment before finally shaking the last remains of sleep from his head and heading for the bathroom. 

He flicked on the light and smiled as a rainbow of color refracted on the walls. In a tiny dish on the vanity was a thin silver band held a brilliant opal and it all sparkled in the light. Butterflies danced an excited tango in his chest - and when he caught his reflection in the mirror he saw his stupidly sappy grin. She had said yes. She had agreed to marry him. She’d practically tackled him and knocked him off his knee before he’d finished getting the question out, but she had shrieked an enthusiastic yes. 

Him. She had agreed to marry _him_. After a year of living with him, she still wanted to stay. With his messed up arm and his messed up brain. He had nightmares and weird dreams and more scars than any one person should accumulate in one lifetime.

He also had Darcy and was therefore the luckiest man in the universe. It was science, as Darcy would say.

He brushed his teeth, then wandered into the kitchen and leaned against the entryway to watch Darcy dance around to the beat of the music coming from the radio as she made breakfast, skillfully avoiding Baker as the pup hovered nearby hoping for a treat. Darcy was singing along softly and occasionally using her spatula as a microphone. When she finally noticed Bucky staring, she crooked her finger, beckoning him closer.

With a grin he approached and wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in for a kiss.

Darcy hummed happily. “You want to be my favorite fella ever?”

“I’m not already?” he asked with a grin.

Undeterred, she continued. “Want to endear yourself to me for all eternity?” 

“I haven’t done that yet?” he teased.

“Make the coffee, handsome.” She swatted at his hip, her fingers catching the drawstring of his sweatpants as she turned back to the pan on the stove. She gave a playful tug and he bumped her with his hip in retaliation. 

“Yes ma’am.” He gave Baker an affectionate pat on the head as he wandered over to the coffee maker and grabbed the carafe to fill it with water from the tap. Darcy continued to dance around the kitchen as she put the finishing touches on his eggs and her oatmeal. He grinned like a fool at her antics and spilled the water all over the counter as he paid more attention to her than filling the coffee maker. Darcy graciously pretended not to notice.

He reached into the cabinet for the coffee grounds. Their usual bag was gone, replaced with a new bag of…decaf?

“Hey Darce,” he began. 

“Yes, fiancé mine?” she teased, giving him a smirk while she gave her oatmeal a stir.

The endearment warmed his chest and he grinned as he held up the bag. “Make a mistake at the store?”

“Nope. Doc says I shouldn’t have any caffeine for awhile.”

“So I have to suffer as well?”

“Yep.”

“Well okay then.” He went through the motions of making the coffee as he racked his brain for any mention that Darcy had made of going to the doctor. He couldn’t remember her saying anything was wrong…why would the doctor want her to cut back on the caffeine?

“Everything okay?” he asked quietly, as a sinking feeling crept into his gut. Of course something was wrong. Things had been going far too well. His hands began to shake just slightly as increasingly terrible scenarios played out in his mind. He was clinging to a train hurtling through the Alps at a million miles an hour and the thin rail he clung to was about to rip loose. He was falling and falling and everything was cold and ice and nothing.

She turned off the stove and tapped him on the shoulder until she had his full attention. She wrapped her arms around his neck and just looked at him. 

He knew that look. It was the look she gave him when he was missing something obvious.

“Everything will be,” she said after a moment, raising her eyebrows a bit.

“Darcy,” he began, but didn’t know how to finish.

She gave him a pitying grin and extricated herself from his arms and pulled his hands to her stomach. 

“I’ll be able to have all the caffeine I want in a few months. We’ll probably both need it.”

He looked at their hands, both stroking her belly. He still didn’t understand what she was trying to tell him.

Her grin was absolutely radiant now. It usually was whenever she was laughing at him. “I wanted to tell you last night, but someone had to go and ask me to marry him.”

“Tell me what?” he whispered, desperation edging into his voice. Darcy was sick, maybe dying and she was just...grinning at him. 

“That in about seven months, you’re going to be a daddy.”

**.....**  
  


**.....**  
  


**.....**  
  


He blinked as his brain came back online and Darcy was laughing at him as she waved her hand in front of his face. 

“Earth to Barnes! Mission report, asshole!”

He picked her up with a whoop of joy and swung her around as Baker chased them, barking at their antics.

“Took you long enough!” she laughed.

“You’re sure?”

“Doc confirmed everything yesterday.”

“Oh my god, Darcy,” he breathed as he pulled her in for a kiss. She returned it with enthusiasm. 

“Hope you’re ready for the long haul, mister,” she murmured. “You’re rather stuck with us now.”

“I am never letting either of you go. Ever,” he replied. “Never. Ever. Ever.” He punctuated each word with a kiss, then buried his face in her shoulder. “I love you so much, Darcy,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Bucky.” She tugged lightly on his hair until he raised his head to look at her, gave him another thorough kiss, and then returned her attention to their rapidly cooling breakfast on the stove.

“What did Jane say when you told her?” he asked as the coffee maker beeped and prompted him to pull mugs from the shelf and prepare their brew.

“Jane your other baby mama?” she asked wryly as she plated his eggs.

He snorted as he moved their mugs of steaming coffee to the table and turned back to her. “But seriously - what did Jane say?”

She stared at him. “But seriously,” she parroted, “who’s Jane?”


	7. Chapter 7

_“I don’t understand what the problem is. You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York...”_

“I would settle for just one,” Darcy’s half amused, half annoyed tone jolted him out of his doze. “One! One water fountain in this entire city that actually has enough water pressure so that I don’t have to make out with the faucet to get a drink.” She grinned at him fondly. “Sleeping again, baby? You really could fall asleep anywhere, couldn’t you?”

“I dunwanna ride the Cyclone,” he slurred as he scrubbed a hand over his face.

Darcy snorted. “I won’t make you. I don’t want to either. Morning sickness is enough for me.”

“Darcy Lewis?” a nurse called.

“Up and at ‘em, fiancé. Let’s see what the doc has to say, yeah?”

He got to his feet, clearing his throat as he offered her his hand. “I know you think I’m being ridiculous, Darce. But this isn’t pregnancy brain, this is _something else_. I need…” He hung his head as his voice trailed off. “I need to know you and the kid are okay,” he finished quietly.

Darcy halted and turned to him, ignoring the soft grunt of protest from the nurse who just wanted them to keep moving.

“Baby,” Darcy soothed, brushing her fingers against his cheek. He leaned into the touch. “It’s fine. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t okay with it. You’re freaked out - I’m willing to do whatever you need to put your mind at ease, okay?”

He nodded. “But you don’t think anything’s wrong.”

Darcy pursed her lips. “I think we should reserve judgement and see what the doctor has to say.”

He pulled her to him and brushed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for putting up with me,” he murmured.

“You say that like it’s a chore.”

***

“Bucky,” Darcy said as he silently unlocked the door and stalked into their apartment. “Babe, talk to me.”

“Your doctor’s a quack,” he snapped. “We should find someone else.”

Darcy was silent for a moment as she closed and locked the door behind her, before kicking off her shoes and setting her purse on the table by the door. “We can do that, if it will make you feel better,” she said evenly.

Bucky stared at her. “You don’t agree.”

Darcy approached him quietly and took his hands in her much smaller ones.

“You think I’ve cracked,” he muttered.

She raised her head and met his gaze. “Never,” she replied vehemently. “But,” she hedged, her voice growing softer, more careful, “I would remember having a sister, don’t you think?”

He broke away from her and tugged on his hair in frustration. “That’s exactly my point!”

“Bucky-”

“Something _has_ to be wrong if you don’t remember your own sister.”

“I don’t disagree, baby. But…”

“But you still think I’ve completely lost it.”

“No,” she breathed, clearly trying to tamp down her frustration.

He sighed and wrapped her up in a hug. “I’m just...I’m terrified, okay?” He felt her raise her head to look at him, but he closed his eyes. He would never get this out if he had to stare into those big blue eyes of hers. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me. You are literally my entire world and...if something ever happened to you...I just…” His breath hitched and he lost all momentum to keep speaking.

Darcy brushed a kiss to his shirt, just above his heart. “Let’s try to call her.”

“What?”

“One of us should have her number, right?” 

Bucky felt like an idiot. _Of course_ they had Jane’s number. For her work, her home, her cell. They had her address and her damn Instagram handle. Darcy was a genius and Bucky was an idiot and really none of that was new information.

Darcy giggled softly at his expense as he dug around his pocket for his phone, all while refusing to release her from the safety of his arms. 

“You gonna be like this the entire pregnancy?” she smirked.

“I’m gonna be like this our entire lives,” he grumbled.

“Oh. Good.” Darcy was smiling to herself and warmth bloomed in his chest, settling some of the anxiety he’d been carrying since he realized Darcy couldn’t remember Jane. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and finally dug out his phone. Continuing to hold Darcy close, he scrolled through his contacts until he found Jane’s number. He held the phone out to Darcy, showing her the photo assigned to Jane’s details.

Her brow furrowed. “We...look nothing alike.”

He shrugged. “Only explanation I’ve ever heard is that you adopted her. She was half feral when you came along and she’d die if you ever left her.”

“Sounds like me.”

“It does.”

“Call.”

He tapped the button and waited for the call to connect.

_“BEEP BEEP BEEP. The number you have dialed is not available.”_

Bucky blinked. “That can’t be right.”

“Maybe it’s a wonky connection,” Darcy offered. “Give it a second and try again.”

He waited a few moments, then tapped the button again. Same result. He pulled up Jane’s Instagram, only to find that the account had been deleted.

“Fuck,” Bucky muttered, breaking away from Darcy and scrubbing his face with his hands. “Maybe I’m the mess, Darcy. Maybe Sam’s been right all these years and there’s somethin’ wrong with me.”

“Baby,” she breathed, coming up behind him rubbing soft circles between his shoulder blades.

“You deserve so much better.”

“Hey,” she replied quietly, her voice like steel as her hand stilled. “Friendly reminder. I love _you_. No matter what. We might not have made it official yet, but for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, all that good stuff still applies. Okay?”

“Darcy…”

“No matter what. I don’t scare easy. And I’m not walking away.” She hesitated. “Who’s Sam?” she asked quietly.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Nevermind.” He reached around and pulled her to him again. He held her close for a minute before kissing her forehead. “I should take Baker out for his walk.”

Darcy looked up at him, confused. “Baker?”

Bucky stilled. “Our puppy,” he whispered.

Darcy tilted her head slightly.

“Oh god,” he breathed, closing his eyes. “We got Baker a year ago. The day you told me you loved me for the first time.”

“Sounds like a good day,” Darcy whispered, stroking his cheek. “Let’s go lay down for a bit, huh? We can sort this out after a nap.”

His breath hitched, but he nodded and allowed Darcy to lead him to their bedroom, where they could hide away from...whatever the problem was.

***

An hour after they crawled into their bed, Bucky was still wide awake. He watched Darcy’s chest rise and fall as she breathed, soft snores escaping her every once in awhile and charming him all over again.

He _loved_ her. So fiercely it hurt. He’d go to war and take the fall and endure all of the pain and cold and torture all over again if it meant that she would be there at the end of it.

Wait.

He’d never been to war. He had tried to enlist years ago - but he’d never been healthy enough. Right? There was a wisp of a memory - an enlistment form, an address in New Jersey, a rejection.

He’d never lived in New Jersey.

No. He _had_ been to war. He’d bought that little bear for Becca to watch over her while he was away and then he’d spent the night trying to convince Steve not to enlist. Then he’d been...that’s why his arm was a mess. Right?

An unsettled feeling itched under his skin as he realized this wasn’t the first time he’d had sudden thoughts that didn’t match with his reality. And maybe...maybe Jane and Sam and Baker were all part of that. But then why was there a photo on his phone attached to a contact for someone named Jane? He shifted a little as his left arm began to ache and Darcy made a soft sound of protest.

Darcy.

He pushed his thoughts and confusion away to focus on her. She settled into his side once again, making tiny noises of happiness, a contented smile gracing her features.

“I love you,” he breathed. “That’s the only thing I know for sure anymore. No matter what else happens. I love you.”

She made a sleepy noise of agreement and moved her hand to reach around him and tug him closer. Her fingers brushed against the small of his back and he just. Melted.

“I know something is wrong,” he whispered. “I think it’s me. In my head. And it feels like everything is slipping through my fingers and I don’t know how to stop it. So if this is it - if this is the end and we wake up tomorrow and it’s all gone. Know that I love you. Take it with you. Wrap yourself up in it and carry it in your heart and know that you will never be unloved for a single second until the end of time.”

Darcy hummed and slowly blinked a few times, tugging him ever closer to her. 

“I love you, too, Bucky,” she breathed, her voice a little slurred with sleep. “You and me - it’s an immutable fact of the universe. Hell, it could be a parallel universe and I’d still find you so I could keep loving you. You, Bucky Barnes, are my endgame.”

As she spoke, his anxiety quieted and he lost the urge to attempt to crawl out of his skin. 

She sleepily brushed her lips against his. “Sleep, baby,” she purred. “And know that I love you.”

He nodded, suddenly exhausted. “Love you, baby,” he murmured into her skin and fell asleep.

***

The sun shone brightly, directly into his eyes, waking him up. He stretched, feeling his shoulder pop, the ache in his arm a dull, distant throb. He reached for Darcy. The space next to him was cold, that side of the bed still neatly made. He strained his ears, listening for any hint that Darcy was up and about somewhere in their home. 

All was quiet.

He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then pulled himself out of bed, glaring at that stupid print across from his bed as though it was the cause of all his problems.

“Darcy?” he called, his voice echoing in the hallway.

He peeked into the kitchen and living room, but there was no sign of her. No note on the refrigerator, no missed calls or messages on his phone. An icy tendril of worry crept into his gut, but he reminded himself that Darcy had probably just run out to grab some groceries or maybe to the coffee shop to give him some space. 

He shrugged into his jacket and went outside, locking the door behind him. The street was quiet. Really quiet.

Bucky glanced around. There were no cars driving past, no pedestrians on the sidewalk. He couldn’t hear any dogs barking or air conditioners running. The icy feeling grew, taking over his chest as he fought down his panic. 

His walk quickly turned to a jog, then a sprint down the street.

Everything was silent. No people. No pets. There weren’t even any damn squirrels in the park.

He was completely, totally, _utterly_...alone.


	8. Chapter 8

_There's a feeling, overwhelming, like I couldn't belong_  
_Without this point of contact everything would be wrong_  
_Stop motion on the ceiling, skipped frames, and I'm forgetting the in-between_  
_“Motion Sickness” - Hands Like Houses_

* * *

Darcy sat straight up with a strangled gasp. Seriously, had she just been running a marathon? Did she black out? She only ran if something was chasing her so blacking out while running would generally be a Bad Idea. As she struggled to catch her breath, she reached out to the side, expecting…well, not dirt. Something other than dirt. She peered at her surroundings. 

Dusty road. The van.

“Janey!” she shrieked and scrambled to her feet.

“Darcy!” Jane yelled from the other side of the van.

They ran to each other, crashing into a hug.

“Holy shitballs, I thought you were dead,” Darcy exclaimed.

“Me? I watched you crumble into dust, Darcy! What happened?” Jane’s voice was wet and Darcy could feel her own eyes welling up at the sound.

“No idea. Let’s agree to not do that again, k?”

Jane pulled back a little and cupped Darcy’s face as she looked Darcy over, before finally releasing her and turning to the road. 

“Wakanda,” Jane muttered, then looked to the sky. “But what happened?”

Darcy moved closer to the road so she could squint in the same direction as Jane. “Wasn’t everything kinda...on fire before?”

“We should go back,” Jane muttered and turned to get back in the van.

“Uh...didn’t we just have this conversation? I feel like we definitely _just had_ this conversation. Deja vu city over here,” Darcy said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

Jane put the keys in the ignition, but turned to face Darcy instead of starting the engine. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Darcy puffed out her cheeks as she exhaled. “We were arguing. The sky opened up, the forcefield over the city fell. We stopped the car, then…”

“Then we woke up on the side of the road,” Jane finished. 

“Yeah.”

“That feel right to you?”

Darcy let her head fall back against the headrest with a soft thump. “Something’s...missing.” She idly rubbed her ring finger. “You think we lost some time? Maybe the...shock of the forcefield coming down knocked us out?”

“Maybe,” Jane said quietly, lost in her own thoughts. “Think we should go back?”

“We could try. Who knows if the road is still drivable though.”

“Okay,” Jane said, starting the engine. “Okay.” She paused before putting the van into gear, letting the engine idle. “Maybe...maybe keep your taser handy.”

Darcy gave her a wry grin. “You think Ol’ Sparky is going to help against whatever was gunning for us?”

“Ol’ Sparky? Probably not. But I know there are at least six generations of updates between Ol’ Sparky and what’s in your bag now.”

“Nine generations actually.”

“Yeah. Keep it handy.”

***

Darcy rolled down her window, as though the grime that had accumulated on it was responsible for what she was seeing. 

“The road is...fine? The city looks...hey, you think what we saw was like, a high-tech illusion or something? Fake out the bad guys?”

Jane considered this for a moment. “If it were, where are the bad guys now?”

Darcy shrugged. “Yay Avengers?”

Jane pursed her lips and lowered her window to enter her credentials at the gate. It swung open and allowed their vehicle inside. A few miles inside, they approached the entrance to the garage below their lab. As they climbed out of the van, they were met by several guards, led by Ayo.

“Doctor Foster,” she greeted, then nodded at Darcy. “Miss Lewis. Welcome back.”

“Hey,” Darcy said.

“How long were gone?” Jane asked, ignoring the sharp look Darcy threw her.

Ayo paused. “Follow me.”

***

Ayo led them through the building and into the labs, which had apparently had been spectacularly renovated in their absence. Wakandan tech was good, Darcy knew, but she doubted it was this good. She was beginning to suspect they’d been gone for much, _much_ longer than they’d originally thought.

The turned the corner into a main lab and were met with arguing Avengers. Loud, arguing Avengers.

“We gotta find him!” Sam yelled.

“You don’t even _like_ the guy,” Tony argued.

“Is that the Falcon?” Darcy whispered to Jane, who shushed her.

“What’s that got to do with anything? Steve wouldn’t leave him behind, so I’m not going to either. We’re doin’ this.”

“Steve is gone! Okay? Steve is gone and he’s not coming back. So it doesn’t matter what Steve would do, because he’s not here!” Tony yelled and Darcy couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped her. They didn’t mean...Steve Rogers couldn’t be...

“That’s _exactly_ why it matters, Tony,” Sam said, his voice low. “Steve wanted us to carry on in his stead.”

“We _move on_.”

“Look man, I know you and Barnes had history, but - ”

“How many losses?” Tony interrupted. “Huh? How many? I’m shutting this down, _now_.” His voice shook a little as he continue to glare at Sam. “We can’t lose anyone else.”

“Tony,” Sam admonished quietly.

“I... _I_ can’t lose anyone else,” Tony admitted.

“Then we should be looking for him.”

“Looking for who?” Darcy asked, drawing a lot of surprised looks. Sam and Tony hadn’t yet realized they were here.

Tony leaned back a little and sighed. “Welcome back. Any memory of the last five years?”

“Uh...” Darcy replied, ever articulate.

“That’s what I thought. Can you talk this guy out of going after Robocop?”

“Two things. 1. Hi, my name is Darcy, and when I’m not running Jane’s lab, I like to build kickass playlists. 2. Who’s this guy and what’s the scale of stupid I’m attempting to de-escalate? Scale is between your facial hair and you giving your home address to terrorists on the six o’clock news.”

Jane nudged her. “Be nice.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “That _was_ me being nice.”

Sam smiled at her and held out a hand. “Sam Wilson.”

Darcy shook it. “Charmed. Stupid scale?”

A tall brunette standing behind Tony sighed. “Somewhere in the neighborhood of hacking a SHIELD mainframe to get your iPod back.”

Sam glanced back at her. “Maria,” he warned.

“That wasn’t stupid. That was _necessary_. It was also seven years ago.” Darcy argued.

“Twelve years,” Maria replied bitterly.

“It was what now?” Darcy asked.

“This is off topic,” Jane interjected, halting the argument for now. “Darcy and I just woke up on the side of the road. We drove straight back here, but I’m guessing we’ve missed more than a few hours.”

Sam nodded. “Five years.”

“Holy shit,” Darcy muttered. 

“Yeah,” Maria replied flatly.

“I watched Darcy...crumble...into nothing,” Jane said. “How are we back?”

“Long story,” Sam replied. “One that I’m not qualified to tell - one because I was right there in the dust with you and two because the science is way over my head.” Tony rolled his eyes, but Sam ignored him. “The highlights are that Tony and the others who survived were able to reverse it and defeat Thanos.”

“With losses,” Jane said.

Sam’s eyes softened. “Yeah. With losses.”

“Steve…” Maria started, but her voice trailed off.

“Sacrifice play. He laid down on the wire, let us crawl over him.” Tony’s eyes were far away, like he was replaying a memory in a loop inside his head.

The room was silent for a few moments. 

“Steve…” Darcy said. “That sounds like a Captain America story.”

“That sounds like a Steve Rogers story,” Sam corrected with a gentle smile. 

She weakly returned it. “The people who were…” Darcy struggled for a term. “...dusted, I guess? What happened to us? Is everyone back?”

“You were trapped in the _Soul Realm_ ,” Tony said, a tiny sneer covering the awe in his voice. “Too bad no one can remember what they did while they were there. Hey, are you sure you didn’t all just agree not to discuss how you spent the last five years reliving the last days of disco or something? What happens in the Soul Realm stays in the Soul Realm?”

Maria ignored him. “Based on the reports we’ve seen from all over the world, everyone is back. Thor is working on getting confirmation from other planets, but the only reported person still missing is Barnes.”

Darcy’s ears rang like someone crashed cymbals right next to them and she winced.

“Barnes?” Jane asked.

“Steve’s best friend,” Sam replied. “James Buchanan Barnes.”

The wind rushed out of Darcy like she’d been punched in the stomach and she could feel panic rising in her chest. The panic escalated as she realized she didn’t even know why she was panicking. Five years spent as a pile of Hoover fodder will do that to a girl, but this was something else.

_“I know something is wrong. And it feels like everything is slipping through my fingers and I don’t know how to stop it.”_

Darcy blinked rapidly, trying anything to stop the ringing in her ears and the voice in her head. Oblivious to Darcy’s distress, Jane asked, “What’s being done to find him?”

Darcy tuned out the rest of the conversation and wandered toward the window. She focused on her breathing, trying to force down the bile that was quickly rising in her throat. She tried to focus on _that_ \- given that she technically hadn’t eaten (or even had a digestive system) in five years...what exactly was in her stomach to rise as bile? Then again, maybe she didn’t want to know.

“...out of the question…”

“...being unreasonable…”

“...Bucky would...”

Darcy’s breath caught at the name. 

_Bucky._

That name. There was something about that name - that person - that was causing her reaction. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?” she whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

_If I never knew what I’ve lost_  
_And I turn around and you’re gone..._

* * *

Darcy stumbled a little down the path, cursing as she steadied herself. She needed to calm the hell down. Seeking to soak a little peace from the beautiful weather, she raised her head to the sky and started counting her breaths, forcing herself to breathe slowly and deeply.

After a moment, she felt a little better and opened her eyes again. Not for the first time, she was struck by the beauty of Wakanda and she took a second to just appreciate it. Appreciate being alive again, apparently. Or at least alive and in her home reality. 

It was such a privilege to be invited to work and live in Wakanda and she knew she was unbelievably lucky. Hell, she’d been unreasonably lucky for years. All because she would rather take an internship on the other side of the country in a field she didn’t study instead of sitting through a semester of Intro to Environmental Science. How different would her life had been if she hadn’t impulsively applied for Jane’s internship all those years ago?

She moved forward on the path, seeking the shade of a nearby tree so she could continue soaking up the beauty of the land around her. As she rested, she wondered where exactly the battle had taken place. She felt disconnected - for her, the sky over Wakanda had been on fire only a few hours ago. Looking around felt like a bit of a dream - no one would ever guess that the fight for the fate of the universe had occurred close to this spot. 

Why this spot though? Surely, Shuri or one of her brilliant assistants could have created a portable forcefield they could have deployed over any patch of land. Yes, Shuri’s lab was here, and Darcy had heard a rumor that the battle was actually a distraction for some major sciencing Shuri had undertaken. But then where were the armies of every other country? Where was the UN? Darcy’s poli-sci background told her that the answers weren’t so simple, but it still bugged her that this beautiful place had been put in the crosshairs. Even if it looked undisturbed now.

She sighed and continued walking, for once not having a particular destination in mind. Darcy only paid attention to her energy level, so that she knew when to turn back, but otherwise had every intention of roaming for as long and as far as her legs would carry her.

About a half hour into her impromptu hike, Darcy came across a clearing that revealed a small house and a well tended yard. A few goats wandered around and a couple of teenagers sat in the grass. They waved at her and beckoned her to approach.

She hesitated. Her Xhosa was limited and she didn’t want to presume any of the kids spoke English. But their enthusiasm won her over and she joined them with a smile.

<Hello,> she waved tentatively. She was met with giggles. Off to a great start then. It was probably her accent. 

She hoped it was just her accent.

<Did they bring White Wolf back?> one of the girls asked.

Darcy took a second to translate that in her head. She had to have gotten that wrong. And if she hadn’t, she was so not feeling up to dealing with any _wolves_. Ugh. Nature.

<White Wolf?> she repeated.

The kids all nodded and giggled. The girl who’d asked stood and motioned for Darcy to follow her. She lead her over to the house and motioned inside.

Darcy paused at the door. Breaking and entering was not her forte these days and she didn’t feel right about waltzing into some poor guy’s house at the urging of some teenagers. That sounded like a bad decision left over from her own teenage years.

<Who lives here?> she asked.

<White Wolf> the girl replied, grinning. Probably more like laughing at Darcy, but it didn’t feel mean-spirited. <He didn’t come back with the others.>

Darcy blinked in surprise. There was someone else missing? <Do the others know he hasn't come back?>

<Of course! We miss him. He’s funny.>

Darcy’s brow furrowed at that but she didn’t ask further, instead motioning that she was going to go inside the house and the girl nodded. Darcy stepped inside and blinked rapidly so her eyes would adjust to the light allowed by the window, dim compared to outside. 

Inside was spare. Minimal furniture, Darcy could spot a desk under the window and a table near the kitchen, but no couch or bookshelves. She spied a mattress resting on the floor in the other room as she wandered toward the kitchen. 

Everything was spotless. This White Wolf character must have been quite the neat freak. 

Then again. It had been five years. With no dust anywhere, someone must have been keeping up with the place. 

White Wolf must have been pretty well liked. Loved. 

Darcy poked a little at the home-made pour over coffee rig with a smile, before turning back towards what could be considered the living room. No photographs. No toys or visible electronics. Nothing to suggest that White Wolf had any family. Friends. Hobbies.

But he’d been liked well enough for someone to maintain his home for five years, not knowing if he’d ever come back. Was this something that the Wakandans had done for everyone who had been dusted? Or was White Wolf an exceptional case? There had to be more to the story here and Darcy wasn’t sure if she’d ever have the opportunity to hear it.

She went back towards the living room and peered out the window. Something...something was very familiar about the sight. Which couldn’t be right, because she’d never been here before.

Right?

The land outside rolled into a gentle hill, where the goats grazed freely. There were a few wispy clouds in a cerulean sky that looked more like it belonged in some generic art print than real life.

Generic art print.

_“Do you have a phone to call the cops and maybe me later?”_

 

_“If I’m going to wake up in your bed on the regular, the least I can do is make breakfast.”_

 

_“In about seven months, you’re going to be a daddy.”_

 

_“You, Bucky Barnes, are my endgame.”_

Holy shit.

<What is it?>

Darcy spun around to face her. <A man posing. Alternate title?> The confused look on the girl’s face told Darcy her limited Xhosa had finally failed her. Growling in frustration, Darcy dug her phone out of her pocket and pulled up her translation app.

“Does the man who lives here have another name?”

She held out the phone as it read out the phrase in Xhosa. The girl laughed - clearly her translation app wasn’t all it claimed to be either, but it at least got the point across.

“Bucky.”

“Holy shit,” she breathed. 

Darcy sprinted out the door and through the yard. Just as she reached the path, she spun around and waved at the kids, before sprinting back toward the city.

_“So if this is it - if this is the end and we wake up tomorrow and it’s all gone. Know that I love you. Take it with you. Wrap yourself up in it and carry it in your heart and know that you will never be unloved for a single second until the end of time.”_

She remembered. Maybe not everything, but she remembered.

And she knew exactly where to find their wayward Bucky Barnes.


	10. Chapter 10

_When the world is spinning and I am standing still_  
_When the world comes apart, am I standing still?_

* * *

Darcy threw open the door to the lab and ran inside. 

“I know where Sergeant Barnes is!” she yelled as she stopped herself by running into Shuri’s lab table, knocking over a few empty cups resting on the surface.

Sam rounded the table and towered over her.

“Where is he?” he asked, his gentle tone belaying his tense stance.

“How do you know?” Jane asked simultaneously.

“Because I remember,” she whispered.

Jane’s eyes widened.

“Remember? Remember what?” Sam asked looking between Darcy and Jane.

“I remember where we’ve been the last five years.”

“The Soul Realm? You remember it?” Shuri asked.

Darcy nodded.

“Okay wait,” Sam said. “What does that have to do with Barnes? He disappeared with the rest of us, but-”

“I was with him there.” 

“Uh. What?” Sam said, looking confused.

She swallowed hard. “We were...we...”

“Oh my god,” Jane said. 

Darcy stared at Jane, mentally willing her not to elaborate. “Yeah.”

“Darcy…” Jane whispered. 

A sly grin crept across Shuri’s face. “So it’s like that, is it?”

Darcy nodded and could feel her face heating up. “I think it was.”

Sam looked between the three women. “What am I missing?”

“I met him in the Soul Realm,” Darcy deflected.

Jane gaped a little and narrowed her eyes, as though she were chasing down a memory of her own. Sam shook his head. “I don’t understand. Did you know him here? When you guys were doing your...whatever science stuff you do?” He grinned a little. “I don’t actually know what you were working on.”

Darcy replied before Jane could launch into an explanation of her research. “We’d never met.”

“And yet, you loved him in the Soul Realm.” Shuri’s grin could probably power the sun on a normal day, but right now, Darcy was pretty sure it could brighten an entire galaxy.

“You know, I don’t know if I am sad or relieved,” Sam said, his own fond grin appearing as the pieces finally fell into place for him. “I’m pretty sure that Steve wouldn’t have shut up about it if Barnes had met someone who’d made him happy. I’m pretty ecstatic to not have been subjected to it, actually. The level of sap that man…” Sam’s grin faded as his thoughts turned to Steve.

Darcy privately mused that if Sam thought his emotions were confused, he should try the feelings blender she had going at the moment.

“He watched you,” Ayo spoke up.

Darcy turned to look at her, bewildered. “I’m sorry, he what?” 

“The last day. I was escorting Sergeant Barnes to meet Captain Rogers. He stopped to watch you and Doctor Foster arguing about evacuating. He was...amused. Impressed at your...” Ayo smiled. “Volume.”

Darcy blinked. Then blinked again. 

None of this was processing.

She shook it off - it wasn’t important right now.

“I have a theory,” Darcy blurted.

Shuri stepped closer. “Finally,” she muttered. “About Bucky?”

“So. He had memory issues, right? After...everything? I don’t know details or anything, but the files in the SHIELD dump looked...bad.”

“Understatement,” Sam groused.

“Among other things,” Shuri answered, shooting Sam a look.

“When did you read the SHIELD files?” Jane asked, bewildered.

“I have _hobbies_ , Jane.” Darcy turned back to Sam and Shuri. “I was walking outside just now and I found his house. There were a bunch of kids hanging around outside and they invited me in. While inside, I recognized the view from his window. It’s the same as this stupid art thing he had in the Soul Realm. As soon as I recognized it, I started remembering other things about my time there.”

“That’s great,” Sam said, his smile sincere. “What does that have to do with bringing him back?”

“What if…” Darcy shook her head, unsure how to phrase the idea forming. Her thoughts were moving too fast and, for once, she couldn’t seem to form the words to match. She idly wondered if this was what Jane felt when she was chasing down a new theory. “What if he somehow recognized that he’d lost memories before? Maybe not consciously, but somehow part of him knew. And in knowing, he somehow...I don’t know, clung to the Soul Realm? He didn’t come back with everyone else because he didn’t _want_ to. He didn’t want to lose anything else. If we go back, we can convince him to come with us.”

Shuri’s eyes brightened with the possibilities. “You said you were happy there?” she asked, her voice soft.

Darcy nodded, but didn’t elaborate. The flashes of memory she had in the house were solidifying. She didn’t have the whole picture just yet, but every minute she remembered a little more and she wasn’t quite ready to share the details with anyone else. Those memories were private and special and _hers_. With him.

She briefly wondered if this is what Sergeant Barnes felt like as he worked to recover his memory.

Probably not. She had no way to know for sure, but she doubted he had very many happy memories to recover.

She ignored the pang in her chest and the voice in her head that whispered a desire to create happy memories with Bucky Barnes. Technically, she’d never even met the man. Even if she was carrying his baby.

Oh shit. Was she?

“Um…” she started, unsure how to even begin to ask if she could possibly be pregnant. That was a little more detail about her time in the Soul Realm than she was willing to get into at the moment, especially when standing with people who knew Barnes well. What if she was _absolutely_ not his type? What if they got him back and he was utterly disgusted by her? Was he even into girls? Or anyone? She trusted history books about as far as she could throw them and she 100% was not going to ask Sam. It would ultimately be easier and less embarrassing for everyone if she kept the details to an absolute minimum.

Besides, it wasn’t like there was a pharmacy down the block where she could grab a test. She’d just have to wait and see. 

That was a terrible plan.

It was the only plan she had.

Although, it had been five years. For all she knew, there could be a pharmacy in the next room. Did they get a Starbucks yet? Okoye was never going to let that go and Darcy privately agreed. 

_Not the point, Lewis. Get it together._

“But why would you remember and not us?” Jane asked, pulling Darcy out of her spiraling thoughts.

“Right at the end…” Darcy’s eyes darted around the room, as though the room would give her the answers she was chasing through her own fractured memories. “People disappeared. Janey, you and Sam were gone. I didn’t remember you. But Buc- Sergeant Barnes did. I think…” Darcy’s voice trailed off. “Oh shit. If I’m right - I think I tried to stay, too.”

Sam looked sympathetic. “You wanted to stay with him.”

“I think I did,” Darcy whispered.

The room grew quiet. Sam broke the uncomfortable silence. 

“So...we knew each other there?”

Darcy nodded. “Yeah, you were there too, Scarecrow. You were his friend.” Her brow furrowed as she thought about it. “I think you might have been his only friend.”

Sam blinked rapidly and turned away, clearing his throat.

“So how do we get to the Soul Realm?” Jane asked, drawing attention away from Sam and giving Darcy a supportive nod.

“No one is going to the Soul Realm,” Tony interjected from the doorway. “No one. No way.”

Sam stepped forward. “Tony-”

“No. No way. The world is a _mess_. We need to focus our resources here. We can’t go chasing after one guy.” From the corner of her eye, Darcy saw Shuri deflate.

“I get that, man, I do, but-”

“I’ll go,” Darcy said, interrupting Sam. 

“What part of ‘no one’ aren’t you getting, Lewis? It’s out of the question,” Tony dismissed.

“Why?” Darcy asked.

Jane bristled at Tony’s dismissal. “We haven’t been back long enough to be of any vital importance to recovery efforts. We can do this.”

“Do you really think you wouldn’t need to pull resources from other projects? A spaceship to Vormir is just going to appear and launch itself?”

Jane hesitated, her face falling a little. “What about-”

“No. End of discussion.” Tony turned on his heel and stormed out as quickly as he’d arrived, leaving the rest of the group staring at one another.

“He...might have a point,” Shuri tentatively offered.

“Ah no, I _know_ you’re not agreeing with just leaving Barnes behind,” Sam argued.

Shuri looked pained. “I have no desire to leave him behind. He’s my friend as well, if you remember.” The sharp edge of her voice caused Sam to glance away. “But I don’t have the resources to spare.” She looked to Darcy. “I’m sorry.”

“Shuri, please,” Darcy pled, “think about this. If I’m right - if he’s stuck there because he somehow couldn’t let go, didn’t want to forget...he’s there _all alone_. He - the whole time, he kept having these weird dreams. I think he was remembering his life here all along, even when no one else did. Maybe whatever has been done to him in the past was helping to keep his memories intact, maybe he’s just a stubborn ass, I don’t know. What I do know is that he is stuck in between and now he is alone. After everything he’s been through, we can’t just leave him like this.”

Shuri drew an unsteady breath. “There are lots of people I would like to help. I have to direct our resources to where they will do the most good. I’m so sorry. But...I can’t.”

Darcy rubbed her forehead in frustration, then pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off the oncoming headache. What a day.

“Do we have your permission to use our old lab to continue looking into this on our own?” Jane asked, her voice taking on a frosty edge.

“Of course. You have always been free to study whatever you like. That hasn’t changed.” Shuri looked back to Darcy, sorrow in her eyes. “Good luck.”

Darcy nodded as Shuri left, Ayo trailing behind her. Sam looked to Jane. “Tell me you have a theory.”

Jane looked sour. “Nope.” 

Movement just outside the glass wall of the lab caught Darcy’s eye. Was that...It couldn’t be. Could it?

Stranger things had happened. Stranger things had happened _that morning_.

“I think I know who can help us.”


	11. Chapter 11

_If you turned left and I turned right_  
_Would the curves of the Earth bring our paths back to cross again?_  
_Would I trust fate to bring back the tide?_  
_Or would I dive headfirst to feel you on my skin?_

__

* * *

“Darcy. No. No way.” 

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Give me five minutes and I might!” Jane hissed.

“That’s five more minutes that Sergeant Barnes might not have to spend stuck in the Soul Realm. In the meantime, I’m doing this.” Darcy marched out of the lab in the direction she’d last seen a troublesome flash of green. 

She approached a darkened, empty lab down the hall. “You in a knife tossing mood these days?” she called. “Or can I pocket the taser?”

“You don’t have your weapon,” a smooth voice purred from the shadows of the darkened kitchen. “You left it in your bag.”

“Funny thing for you to know. It’s almost as though you’re afraid of me.” The air shimmered in front of her as the voice took shape. “Hello Loki.”

There was a flash of teeth as he grinned. “Hello.”

“Didn’t you used to be better at eavesdropping? I saw you outside the lab.”

“Perhaps I wanted you to see.”

“Why would you want a thing like that?”

“I can help you.”

Darcy quirked an eyebrow. “A dead man can help me?” She tried to contain her rising panic as best she could, covering with sass. She was only kidding herself really - Loki was the God of Lies. Mischief. Trickery. He also had a habit of stabbing people and then there was that one time with the giant robot and the other time with all the aliens. 

_Barnes. Do it for Barnes. Bucky. Whoever the hell he is. Whoever he could be._

Loki’s grin faltered. “Stories of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”

“Repeatedly.”

The grin was back. Covering. Hiding. “By design.”

“Sure.” She resisted the urge to bite her lip, lest she show any weakness. Oh who was she kidding? She wasn’t the Black Widow any more than Fury was a cat lover. “Rumor has it, you turned hero lately. Faked out Thanos, grabbed a few allies. Helped turn me back into a real girl after I, uh. Fell to pieces. So to speak.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, but didn’t reply.

“You helped save everyone,” she continued.

“Not everyone,” he retorted quietly.

Ouch. That was a miscalculation. She hadn’t quite had time to process that Asgard was really gone and no matter what whojiggery the Avengers had pulled out of their hat to save half the universe, they couldn’t bring Asgard back. “Yeah. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“My condolences on yours as well.”

She wasn’t sure if he was referring Bucky or the life she’d had in the Soul Realm or something else entirely. But this was Loki - the safe bet was that Bucky Barnes never registered to him at all. A very safe bet was that he was playing with her. Subject change to throw her off in three...two...

“Thor has always spoken very highly of you,” Loki continued and Darcy briefly wished she’d been able to bet on that. Easiest win ever.

“Thor’s a good guy.”

“Yes,” Loki replied, his voice quiet and sincere in a way she never would have expected from him.

“I can’t…” her voice failed her, briefly. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I can’t do anything for Asgard. But...there is still one person I can help.”

Loki stared at her. Really stared - Darcy felt like his gaze was rifling through every part of her soul, searching for something. 

“You’re asking for trouble, going back there,” he said finally.

“Yeah well. Asking for trouble isn’t working. I’m going looking for it.”

He hummed, a non-committal response. “And you would accept my help? After everything? The Destroyer? The Chitauri? After what happened to your precious Erik Selvig?”

Darcy waited one beat. “Yes.”

Surprise and respect flashed through Loki’s eyes before he covered it again with indifference.

“And what would I get in return for my help?”

Darcy narrowed her eyes. “You already offered your help freely.”

Loki broke into a wide grin. “I like you, Darcy Lewis.”

***

“Tell me about the Soul Realm.”

“Not much I can tell you. When Thanos carried out his plan, the Soul Realm was overwhelmed. It was never meant for so many beings to enter at one time. So it adapted. Normal rules didn’t apply.”

“That’s how you got everyone back?”

“There were loopholes.” Loki looked at Darcy, his eyes calculating. “One thing that never changed though - what happens there doesn’t affect what happens here.”

Darcy thought about that for a moment. “So...if you die in the Soul Realm…”

“No effect whatsoever here.”

“What if you get pregnant?” She aimed for casual. She failed spectacularly. Loki, somehow, didn’t acknowledge it.

“Then that person would not be with child here. Almost as though they had simply dreamed the entire experience.” He paused, then, “There is a reason people don’t remember what happened, you know.”

Darcy wanted to ask what that reason was, but had a much more pressing thought. “I do remember though. Not everything just...flashes. Bits and pieces. But I remember.”

“There’s probably a reason for that, too.”

***

“Thor! Big guy! My man! How’s it goin’?” Darcy called, waiting at the entrance to the room.

Thor looked up with a small smile. “Darcy! I am relieved to see you.”

“I am relieved to be seen, believe me,” she replied with a grin as she moved into the room to take a seat next to Thor. “How’ve you been?”

“I have had less challenging days.”

“True story, my friend. True. Story.”

They sat in companionable silence for a moment before Thor shifted slightly. “I have heard a rumor.”

“What kind of rumor?” Darcy asked, giving him a knowing smile.

He didn’t return it. “That you are working with my brother to locate Sergeant Barnes.”

“You want to tell me that’s a bad idea?”

“You already know that’s a bad idea,” Thor countered. “But I will support your decision. I trust that you have your reasons.”

“That is really good to hear, big guy.”

“Why is that?” Thor asked, a real smile finally creeping across his face.

“Because I need a favor.”

***

Darcy and Thor entered the lab to find Loki and Jane working together to finish their calculations. Ayo hovered near the door and gave Darcy a nod as they passed. Darcy took that to mean that Jane hadn’t attempted to kill Loki recently.

“I would suggest you hurry,” Ayo said. “Tony Stark has been informed of your plan and is on his way to shut down the lab. I will keep him out as long as I can.”

“I don’t want you to get into trouble over this,” Darcy said.

“It is no trouble.”

Darcy thought about that for a moment. She had a feeling that this sudden comradery had little to do with her own sparkling personality.

“People here are fond of him, huh?” Darcy asked.

Ayo considered her, then nodded. “He has earned our respect.”

“You’re really okay with him hanging around?” Darcy asked. “Retiring here? Not all that long ago, this entire country was hiding from the rest of the world. Inviting him to stay seems like an invitation for trouble.”

Ayo smiled. “What did I just say about respect?”

Darcy snorted. “Fair.”

“Besides,” Ayo said, “he’s good with the goats.”

“Farmer Barnes,” Darcy said with a knowing nod. “There’s an image that’s not going away anytime soon.”

“We’re just about ready, Darcy,” Jane called, nerves evident in her voice. “We just need...uh - what’s the new ax called?”

“Stormbreaker,” Thor replied quietly.

“Right. That.” Jane shifted away awkwardly and Loki looked toward the sky, as though mentally asking the universe to him him strength.

Darcy rolled her eyes at her two oblivious and awkward friends. “Let’s get this show on the road then.” She approached the table where Jane, Thor, and Loki had gathered. “Okay. So.”

Thor nodded at her. “I’ll send you to Vormir, where Loki can arrange for your temporary entrance to the Soul Realm.” 

“Wait, what?”

“There is no stone to bargain for any longer,” Loki said. “I will negotiate with the gatekeeper to allow you brief entry to retrieve your soldier and then immediately leave.”

“I can’t do it myself?”

Loki gave her a feral grin. “Do you think you’re up to the task?” 

She didn’t really want to think about that - or why a god of lies and trickery thought he was needed for the negotiations. “What’s in it for you?” Darcy asked, not entirely sure she wanted an answer. Loki’s grin widened, but he didn’t respond.

Jane handed Darcy a small device, no larger than a coin. “Once you have Barnes, run your thumb over this. It’ll get a signal out to us that you’re ready to go and we can pull you back.”

“Which organ did you have to sell to get this?”

“Don’t ask,” Jane muttered.

“You’ll need to be touching him to bring him back out with you,” Loki said. “Otherwise, he’ll be left behind again - and we will likely not be able to try this a second time.”

Darcy let out a breath. “Okay. No pressure.” She rolled her head and shoulders, the crack echoing a little in the lab. “Let’s do this.”

“What part of ‘shut it down’ did you misunderstand, Lewis?” Tony yelled from the entrance to the lab, where Ayo held him back. “I’ll have your clearance for this - you’ll never work in another lab again!” 

“Dude - I’m not even a scientist!” Darcy yelled back, causing Tony to jolt back in surprise. “Go ahead and block my access - I’m gonna be fine.”

Loki gave her a speculative look. “Are you?” he asked quietly.

“Shhhhh!” Darcy shushed.

Jane nodded to Thor. “Get ready!”

Darcy glanced at Loki and mimicked his posture. 

He glanced back. “How can you be willing to take such risks for someone you’ve never met? Someone who has such a...checkered past?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance, Loki.”

“Even someone who has committed numerous atrocities?” There was something in his eyes - a infinitesimal flicker of emotion across his face. This wasn’t just about Bucky. Maybe that’s what Loki was getting - this was about redemption. As if helping to save the universe from Thanos wasn’t enough.

Darcy weighed her words carefully. “He was a tool - a weapon placed in the hands of someone who didn’t respect the responsibility.”

“And if you bring him back...what then?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

“SHUT IT DOWN, FOSTER!” Tony screamed.

“Thor?” Jane yelled.

“Three....two….” Thor counted down and Darcy tensed.

“You are an interesting mortal, Darcy Lewis.”

Darcy looked at Loki. “You’re not so bad yourself, Mischief.”

“One!”


	12. Chapter 12

_“I think your logic is flawed, sweetheart.”_

_“My logic is perfect.”_

Darcy wasn’t sure when exactly she’d closed her eyes. One moment, she was in the lab. Then there was a bright, white light. Then nausea. So. Much. Nausea. 

She groaned. Once she was back on Earth, she had no desire to travel by ax-induced rainbow ever again.

“If you’re looking for the Soul Stone, I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed,” a deep voice said. Darcy’s eyes flew open, but all she could see was Loki’s back. 

Interesting. He must have stepped in front of her at some point. Shielding her from the gatekeeper. But why? Redemption still? She didn’t think she really had the power to grant him any kind of anything.

Maybe he was just lonely.

Loki’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “We are here on a mission.”

“Loki,” the voice said evenly, although Darcy didn’t think she was imagining the tiny hint of derision in it. Darcy sighed internally. Loki just made friends everywhere he went, didn’t he? “What do you want?”

“We are here-”

“Who sent you? Are you here to try to convince me to leave? Your tricks won’t work on me.”

Wait a second. Darcy knew that voice. She’d written _papers_ on that voice. She sprung out from behind Loki. “We left someone behind.”

Steve Rogers finally looked away from Loki and turned his attention briefly to her, then looked back to Loki. “Another of your tricks?”

“Not this time.” Loki shifted slightly, his body tense, as though he were completely prepared to throw himself in front of her if needed.

Steve watched Loki, then looked back to Darcy with an appraising glare.

“Please,” Darcy said, her voice soft and raising her hands a little in a placating gesture. “We left someone behind.”

“That’s not possible. I’m the guardian here now. I would know.”

Darcy didn’t really have the time or the will to think through the implications of that. “Maybe...but they’re the only one that hasn’t come back. I have to check. It would be easier with your help.” 

“Darcy!” Loki hissed.

She ignored him. “But I’ll get in there either way. I won’t leave him behind.”

Steve narrowed his eyes gave her a long, hard look, then nodded at Loki. “Why is he here?”

“Insurance,” Loki purred, before Darcy could even think of a response.

“Insurance,” Steve repeated, his voice flat. 

“To ensure that she comes back out,” Loki said.

Darcy looked at him sharply. “To ensure what now?”

Steve looked to Darcy. “This guy means that much to you?”

“Um. I’m not sure how to answer that.”

“Oh no, you misunderstand, Captain,” Loki said. “Darcy has no attachment to me. I am here to ensure that when Darcy has accomplished her goal and attempts to leave - to return home - that you will not impede her in any way.”

“What?” Steve asked, incredulous. “Why would I-” He stopped suddenly and looked back to Darcy, his eyes wide and panicked. “Who was it?” he demanded. “Who was left behind?”

***

_“Not bad...for the end of the world.”_

Bucky jolted out of the light sleep he’d managed and looked around wildly. He didn’t recognize the room he was in, but the lumpy couch felt familiar. 

_“We can put the couch cushions on the floor like we were kids. It’ll be fun.”_

Bucky slid down the couch onto the floor and hung his head between his knees, trying to calm his breathing. What was happening to him? He’d had everything he ever wanted. And he lost it. 

Had he imagined everything? He couldn’t have. He’d gone outside and the entire city was deserted. It didn’t make any sense. No Sam at the office. No Peter at the coffee shop. No Jane or Baker anywhere. 

No Darcy.

His breath caught in his chest and he wheezed as his throat closed up. Maybe this whole thing had been a cruel joke. Something those HYDRA bastards planted in his brain. Maybe in a little while he’d be woken up, pulled out of cryofreeze, and sent into the field again to ruin more lives and chip away at what little remained of his soul.

And now he’s not even sure where half of those thoughts just came from. He choked off a sob.

Gone.

Everything was gone. He was alone and everyone was gone.

Gonegonegonegonegonegonegone - 

_“Breathe with me, baby. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.”_

He could hear Darcy’s voice as clear as anything - she could have been sitting right next to him, rubbing soothing circles into his back. The way she did every time he had a nightmare.

It wasn’t a dream. It _couldn’t_ have been a dream. No dream could be so vivid, so clear.

He didn’t love a _dream_ with every molecule of his being.

_“Come on baby, breathe, okay? You’ll make yourself sick and that’s not gonna help. Come back to me, baby. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.”_

He felt a little steadier and raised his head to poke through the photos on the coffee table again. She was in all of the photos. He couldn’t have photographs of a dream. Smiling at him like he deserved it. Kissing his cheek, pressing into his side. Love in her eyes. His ring on her finger in the latest photo, one she’d printed the night before everyone disappeared. They’d been so excited. So happy.

So damn happy.

She was everything he loved about the world. Every last thing. Her smile was his sunshine, her laugh a cool breeze on a hot day. She was that soaring feeling from dancing and singing along to concerts in the park and the satisfying burn in his legs from a good hike. 

_“In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. That’s it, baby.”_

This couldn’t be the dream. _She_ couldn’t be the dream. His imagination just wasn’t that good - he would never think up someone like her loving him, not even in his wildest imaginings. Everyone disappearing had to be the dream.

The nightmare.

_“You shaped the century. Now I’m going to need you to do it one more time.”_

“No,” he choked. “No. I won’t. I won't do it.”

_“The procedure has already started. You are to be the new fist of HYDRA.”_

“No,” he whimpered, covering his head with his hands and rocking himself back and forth as the mental images bombarded him.

_“Don’t throw that Steve Rogers bullshit at me!”_

Tears streamed down his face and soaked his shirt.

_“I don’t know if I’m worth all this, Steve.”_

He whimpered again and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

_“But I knew him.”_

He choked out a sob.

_“Soldat?”_

_“Ready to comply.”_

“NOOOOO!” he screamed and kicked out his legs, sending the coffee table sliding a few feet across the room, photos scattering everywhere.

He just had to wake up. He pinched himself. Nothing. He bit his lip until his mouth filled with the coppery tang of blood. Nothing. He lowered his head between his knees again and pulled his hair, keening with the pain.

Nothing.

He was still here. Still alone. Darcy was still gone.

_“I love you, baby.”_

“Anything,” he whispered. “I’ll do anything. I’ll be good. I’ll be so good. I’ll be the best husband, the best father. I’ll never forget an anniversary, I’ll be there for every single baseball game or piano recital or science quiz bowl final. I’ll work hard, but not so hard that I can’t be _here_ for them. With them.” Fat tears slid down his cheeks and he sniffed noisily. “Anything. I’ll do anything,” he repeated. “Just come back.”

A creak in the hallway drew his attention and he slowly lifted his head.

In the doorway, standing there like every dream he’d ever had realized. Standing there, looking at him with so much love and concern in her eyes, as though he was worth it.

_Darcy._

He choked as he scrambled to his feet and rushed to the hall, half expecting to slam into the wall when the apparition of his fiancée evaporated like so much smoke.

She didn’t.

He wrapped his arms around her, clinging desperately, as his tears flowed anew.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

Darcy clung to him just as tightly, rubbing soft circles into his back the way she always did when he was upset and swaying gently, making soft, soothing noises.

“I knew you were real,” he whispered, peppering her hair with kisses. “You couldn’t be a dream. You couldn’t. I could never dream anything so good.”

Her breath hitched and she held him tighter. He felt something soaking into his shirt and he realized that she was crying. 

“Don’t cry, baby. Don’t cry. You’re here. I’m here. We’re together. We can do anything if we’re together,” he soothed. He leaned back slightly, cupping her face in his hands and touching his forehead to hers. 

“You and me. Immutable fact of the universe right?” 

Her lips trembled as tears pooled in her eyes, but she didn’t reply. 

“Darcy?” he whispered.

She nodded. “Hi,” she said, with the ghost of a smile.

He crashed his lips to hers, desperate. She froze for half of a moment, then returned the kiss with a whimper, pulling him impossibly closer.

“I remember,” she whispered against his lips. “I remember you.”


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky glanced at Darcy while he waited for the kettle to boil. She was staring at her hands, picking at her nails and pretending that she wasn’t glancing up at him every few seconds. He was...confused. She’d never been this nervous or quiet around him, not ever. It _hurt_. Every tentative look was a knife to the gut and he didn’t know what to do about it.

And then there was what she’d said. “I remember you.” Like she’d forgotten him at some point. Granted, given the mess that was his own mind anymore, he really wasn’t in a place to judge, but it still stung. 

When the water was ready he poured it over the leaves he’d already measured into the teapot. He set the timer for four minutes and turned slowly to face Darcy and she quickly looked away. 

The pain in his chest should be an old friend by now.

After what felt like a small eternity, the timer went off, causing Darcy to jump slightly. He turned to pour the tea, adding a splash of cream the way she liked, then slid the mug over to where she sat at the kitchen island.

She leaned forward and took a tentative sniff of the tea. Her lips twitched into a tiny approximation of a smile before she wrapped both hands around the mug and lifted it to her lips. 

“Hmmm,” she purred. “That’s tasty. What is it?”

Bucky stilled, his own mug of tea frozen halfway to his lips. “Decaf French Earl Grey with cream,” he whispered. “Your favorite.”

Darcy’s eyes widened. “Oh.” She stared down at the mug, her hands pulling away slightly, as though the mug itself had offended her somehow.

“You introduced me to it on our first date. Made sure I knew how to make it just the way you liked.”

“I’ve never had it before,” she whispered, tears pooling in her eyes.

There was that pain again. Old friend. Five words and it was like losing her all over again.

They drank the rest of their tea in silence.

***

“So…” Bucky’s voice trailed off as they sat on the couch. There was too much space between them and every inch that separated him from her felt more like light years. “What are you doing here? Where’d you go?”

Darcy shifted uncomfortably. “Sergeant Barnes-”

“No,” he interrupted sharply. 

Darcy froze. “Sorry,” she sniffled. “Bucky? Can I call you Bucky?”

“You’re not my Darcy,” he said quietly, ignoring her question, “are you.”

“That’s...complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it,” he replied simply. He wasn’t angry with her, he _couldn’t_ be angry with her. He just needed to know.

She slowly released her breath. It wasn’t quite a sigh, but it was close. “We are currently in what’s called the Soul Realm. We landed here after a really bad dude wiped out half the universe. There are some theories as to why we landed here instead of just dying, but...The important part is that our friends who survived, who were left behind - they figured out how to bring everybody back.”

“Everyone except me.”

“Well,” Darcy started. She looked uncomfortable. “Sort of.”

“That’s why I’m all alone here?”

Darcy didn’t reply. He really didn’t need her to. 

“I know what I’m saying sounds...if I didn’t live it, I wouldn’t believe it. But...I died in our reality. I woke up here with no memory of my previous life. And then I was pulled back to our reality.” She shifted in her seat to face him, pulling one leg up underneath her. “You ask if I’m the Darcy you knew here and the answer is...yes. But also no.” Her face fell. “I’m sorry.”

He nodded. “We were…” he huffed out a bitter chuckle. “It was too good to be true.”

Darcy bit her lip. “I can get us both back to where we belong.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You can turn back the clock here in the - what did you call it? Soul Realm? - and give me back my life? My dog? My fiancée? I don’t know about you, but that’s where _I_ belong.”

“No,” Darcy replied shortly. “But I can get you back to the real world.”

He lowered his eyes, chastised. “Sorry,” he said. “That wasn’t very fair of me. This isn’t your fault.” He hesitated, then grasped her hands, wrapping them up in his. She gripped his hands back. That was something, at least. “So...in the,” he choked a little, “real world.” He stared into her eyes intently. “Are you…”

She hesitated. “I’m not pregnant.”

He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He was barely holding it together at this point but there was one more thing he had to know. He didn’t want to ask. If he didn’t ask, he could keep pretending that everything was fine. But he had to know.

“And...are we…” His voice failed him. In all the little flashes he’d gotten from this other life, she’d only showed up once. She had been far away and not speaking directly to him, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t other times. Other things he didn’t remember yet. He had to hold onto the tiny bit of hope he had left.

A tear escaped her eye and fell onto their clasped hands. “You and I have never met,” she whispered.

Bucky gasped out a sob.

“Hey now,” she said, quickly. “It’s okay.” Her voice was soft and soothing, the way it always was when he was upset or when things had gone wrong.

Then again. They didn’t know one another. He might be imagining her compassion. Apparently, he’d never actually seen it.

“How is this okay!?” he wept as he choked again, trying to pull away from her. “If we’ve never met, why are you here talking to me at all? Just leave me.” He turned away. “Just leave me.”

She maintained her grip on him, pulling him a little closer and running a hand over his hair. “I’m _here_ for a reason, Bucky,” she assured. He quieted a little at that, closing his eyes at her touch. “I remembered what happened here. I remembered _you_ ,” she whispered, “and I came back for you. I’m not just going to leave you behind again. I don’t think I meant to the first time.”

He considered that. “What do you mean?”

“Okay, so. I don’t remember much. But I do remember some things. I remember…” she glanced around the room. “I remember that teddy bear,” she said, tilting her head towards the corner where an enormous stuffed bear sat. “You won it for me. It was one of those rigged games at the carnival, but you beat it. You were so proud.” She grinned. “Until you had to lug it around the rest of the day in the heat.”

“You remember that?”

“Yeah. Towards the…” Darcy made a frustrated noise. “For lack of a better term. Towards the end. I couldn’t remember Jane, right? Or Sam or Baker. They all were pulled back to our reality almost immediately. I wasn’t. I stayed behind because I wanted to stay with you.”

Bucky searched her eyes, trying to tamp down the hope that was once again growing in his heart. “We go back - what’s to stop you from forgetting again? Or me? My brain is a mess no matter what reality I’m in apparently.”

Darcy’s lip trembled, but she took a breath and seemed to rally. “I promised you once, didn’t I?” she said. “It could be a parallel universe and I’d still find you. I won’t forget again. I don’t think I _could_.”

He stilled, considering her words, then sighed and turned away. “This other world,” he said softly as his fingers tightened gently around hers, “I’m not a good man there am I?” His voice sounded resigned and he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“What do you mean?”

“I remember it. Like it was a dream - a nightmare. But I remember it. The things he did - I did.” He shook his head. “God, Darcy. If that’s where we’re going, how in the world…” he was breathing heavily and shaking just a little as he blinked back the tears that had formed in his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” he muttered.

“You don’t do that anymore. You haven’t for a really long time.”

“The life we had here...it was a dream.” He closed his eyes and smiled softly. “A perfect dream. Everything I’ve ever wanted. You...” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “We can never have that there.”

She sniffed and stuck her chin up, determination set into her face. “Says who?”

“Probably the universe.”

“Meh, what does the universe know? The universe somehow allowed the blobfish to exist.”

He sighed and put his head in his hands, practically doubling over into her lap.

She ran her hands through his hair again, trying to soothe him and he found himself arching up a little into her touch. “Hey. We go back, we can do anything, you hear me? You want to get a place like this? We’ll go to New York, Melbourne, Rio, anywhere you want and we’ll find a place just like this. You want to farm goats in Wakanda again? Sign me up.”

He raised his head to look at her, confused. “You want to stay with me?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.”

“But we’ve never met.”

She shrugged. “So we did things a little out of order. Who cares?”

“Darcy…”

“You’re arguing like it would be the weirdest thing to ever happen to you.”

He stared at her in silence as she continued to run her hands through his hair.

“Come with me,” she whispered. “Come home.”

He stared at her. His head felt like he’d been jerked in a thousand different directions in a very short period and he wasn’t entirely sure he was understanding her meaning.

“Come home _with me_ so you can come home _to me_ ,” Darcy urged. “Please Bucky. Come home.”

“Yes,” he murmured. “Okay Darcy. Anything you want. Let’s go home.”


	14. Chapter 14

“So how do we do it?” Bucky asked.

Darcy pulled Loki’s coin from her pocket and held it out to him. “I hold your hand and run my thumb across this. Our friends will do the rest.”

He nodded. “Can I have a second? One last look around?”

“Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”

Bucky stood up and slowly made his way into the kitchen. He ran his fingers over the counter, pausing at the coffee machine.

“You said you remembered,” he murmured. “How much to you remember? What do you remember?”

Darcy stood and joined him in the kitchen, eying the coffee maker. “Not everything. Flashes, mostly. Conversations we had. The giant ass bear.”

“Do you…” his voice trailed off, unsure how to ask what he wanted to know.

Even like this, in this strange limbo they’d been thrown into, Darcy seemed to read him like a book. “I’m remembering more all the time. I got the first flash a few hours ago, I think? It’s all...solidifying.”

“Do you think you’ll ever remember it all? The way I do?”

Darcy shrugged, helplessly. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Bucky swallowed hard, then nodded. “Maybe…” his voice drifted off.

“Maybe what?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to put that on her. None of this was her fault. 

She bumped his shoulder and gave him a muted, playful look. “Maybe this is just our origin story, yeah?”

His breath froze in his chest. “Why? You hoping to feature in later issues?” he whispered.

“If I’m lucky,” she grinned. “Maybe I’ll even get to be a major character.”

His breath hitched and he tried to cover it with a smile, but it felt brittle on his face. Darcy’s expression quickly fell.

“We’d done that before,” she said.

“Yeah,” he muttered.

“Damn. Soul Realm me used all my best material.” She bumped his shoulder again. “Guess I should step up my game if I want to catch your attention again.”

He shook his head. “Darcy, you don’t-”

“Maybe I want to,” she interrupted. “I remembered you for a reason, Bucky Barnes. I’d kinda like to find out what that reason is.”

“Me too.” He motioned towards the hall. “I’m just gonna…”

“Sure.”

He reluctantly turned away from her. There was a voice in his head screaming not to let her out of his sight, lest she disappear again. But he forced himself to walk away, walk down the hall, and step into the bathroom.

The beautiful opal engagement ring he’d given Darcy was still on the counter where she’d left it before she disappeared. He picked it up and gazed at it, watching the light it refracted make rainbows dance around the room.

None of this was fair. Not one single, solitary second of it. But she was _trying_. It might not have been exactly the reunion he wanted, but it was a million times better than what he’d had after everyone disappeared. Better than any existence without her. He could try a little, too. For her. For himself.

“Hey Bucky?” Darcy’s voice called.

He quickly left the bathroom and followed her voice down the hall to their bedroom, where Darcy was staring at the art on the wall.

“That thing,” he muttered. “Don’t suppose you know what it is? It’s been bugging me since I first saw it.”

She gave him a grin. “I sure do.”

He blinked in surprise. He hadn’t really expected her to know anything about it. 

“It’s the view from your window at your house in Wakanda.”

He hesitated, not sure he really wanted to know the answer to his next question. “If we’ve never met, how-”

“There are a couple of kids who’ve been looking after your house. They let me in.” She motioned to the print. “I recognized the view from the window. It was what triggered the first flash of memory.”

“ _This_? All of our life here and this ugly thing is what stuck with you?” It stung, just a little.

Fine. More than a little. He could be bitter about it. 

Darcy gave him a look that seemed to say _cut the shit_. He felt the bitterness lessen a touch. He was only 42% bitter now. Not even enough for a good - 

He’d had that thought before. Dammit. And now he wanted chocolate. This whole reconciling two lives thing was going to take some getting used to. He glanced at Darcy. At least they were sort of in the same boat - maybe they could get used to it together. Another tiny sprig of hope bloomed in his chest.

“That was a lot of emotion that just went across your face. You okay?” Darcy asked.

He sighed. “Yeah.” He took one last look around, his eyes lingering a little on their bed, before meeting her gaze. “I’m ready whenever you are, I guess.”

She held out her hands and gave him an encouraging smile. He grasped them, lacing his fingers with hers, and giving her hands a gentle squeeze. Her smile grew.

“Okay. If the way back is anything like the way here, it’s a trip. Hold on to your lunch.” She released his right hand to dig in her pocket for the device that would signal whoever was waiting on the other side and then froze, a curious expression on her face. 

“Darcy?”

“We’re supposed to go straight back. They _told me_ to go straight back. But…” Her eyes flicked to his. “Do you remember Steve?”

He hesitated. The strange thoughts and memories that had plagued him for so long were finally starting to settle into a coherent order. With some effort, he could determine if something had happened here, in what he was coming to regard as his dream life, and in the so-called real world. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “I remember Steve. Why? What’s that idiot done now?”

“Yeah. You’re gonna want to see this. You’re gonna hate it.”

***

He opened his eyes and immediately winced at the bright light. His sight blurred as his eyes watered at the sting of the wind and he could see Darcy struggling similarly in his periphery. After a few uncomfortable moments and a lot of blinking, his eyes finally adjusted and he took in his surroundings. 

They were standing at the edge of a bombed out city. The literal edge. Apparently, this city was floating. Why the hell was the city floating?

“Sokovia,” Darcy muttered. “Why the hell is Rogers conjuring up Sokovia?”

Bucky couldn’t be sure if Darcy’s words or their arrival had summoned him, but suddenly Steve Rogers could be seen standing at the very edge of the city, looking out at the horizon. Memories flooded his mind, and his arms suddenly itched to grab Steve, haul him back away from the edge, but his legs felt like they were encased in cement and he couldn’t move.

“You know,” Steve said, his voice dry, “I wasn’t sure you’d come back for Loki.” He gave Darcy a knowing grin. “You’ve met him, after all.”

Bucky looked a bit to the right and saw a man with a haughty expression, tied up and stuck on a pile of rubble.

“Loki, I thought we agreed - no antagonizing our host,” Darcy chastised. “Did you at least give him your safe word?”

Bucky bristled at the devilish grin Loki gave Darcy. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well that immediately crosses you off the list of potential fun times partners.”

Loki raised an eyebrow with a surprised smirk. “I was on the list?”

“This guy was on the list?” Bucky asked, incredulous. He saw Steve’s shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter and realized he’d spoken a little louder than he’d intended.

“Idiots, all of you,” Darcy muttered.

Steve put everyone out of their misery and changed the subject. “You probably shouldn’t be here.”

“I have a brief all-access pass to anywhere I want to go,” Darcy replied with a shrug. “You think I’m not going to take advantage?”

Steve’s shoulders twitched as he huffed out another silent laugh. Finally, he turned to face them and a flood of memories assaulted Bucky’s brain. “You’re not gonna get a view like this anywhere else, that’s for sure.”

“Well,” Bucky croaked. He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again. “Hope you got your fill, pal. Time to go home.”

“Yes it is,” Steve agreed. “For you.”

“Captain Rogers-”

“Don’t do this, Steve,” Bucky argued. “Not this time. Don’t fight me on this.”

“Someone has to stay behind, Buck. It might as well be me.”

“Why does someone have to stay behind? Thanos is gone, the stone’s destroyed.” Darcy asked, her nose scrunching up in her confusion.

“No one needs to stay behind any longer,” Loki confirmed quietly, his voice strangely sincere. Bucky wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the man, if he could really believe his sincerity, but didn’t really have the desire to expend the energy on him at the moment. 

Steve only shook his head. 

“Is he always this insufferable?” Darcy asked Bucky, then turned to back Steve. “God, it’s like you’ve convinced yourself the only worthwhile use of your life is to exchange it for someone else’s. Heeeellllooo, the universe doesn’t work like that. It never did. Everything is fixed now, you don’t have to stay. Come back with us. Pick up the shield and fight the good fight. Go team go! Rah!” She shrugged again. “Or don’t. Retire. Get a house and a dog and eat donuts in marginal happiness like the rest of us plebeians.”

“Is that really your best argument?” Loki asked. Everyone ignored him.

“She really is your girl, isn’t she,” Steve muttered to Bucky.

“Not really,” Bucky replied sadly.

“Not yet,” Darcy corrected and Bucky’s heart leapt. She turned back to Steve with a sly look. “Don’t you want to be there when it happens, Rogers? Give my guy all the shit he’s got coming to him?”

Steve shook his head. “I’m content here.”

“Steve-”

“No Buck. No. It’s time.”

Bucky could feel the tears welling up in his eyes again. “It doesn’t _have_ to be.”

Steve looked between Bucky and Darcy and sighed. “Do you really think it’ll ever stop? Any of it. I spend my days fighting to save a world I barely get to live in.” His voice trailed off as his eyes fixed on Darcy. “You’ve found a reason to keep going, Buck, and you deserve it. You deserve every single good thing. Me? I…” Steve voice trailed off as his face closed off.

Bucky didn’t have a ready argument against any of that, but he couldn’t just let Steve go that easily. “Stevie,” he plead, his voice breaking a little.

Steve turned to stare back at the Sokovian sky. “Would you want to go back without Darcy? I know you’ve found some measure of peace in Wakanda, but... _would_ you go back if Darcy wouldn’t be there?”

Bucky looked at Darcy and knew for certain that he wouldn’t. If someone else had come for him - hell, even if _Steve_ had come for him - he wasn’t sure that he would have had the strength to leave the home he’d made with Darcy in the Soul Realm. It was only the promise of maybe finding a fraction of what they’d had that compelled him to follow her back at all. Darcy turned at met his eyes, giving him a small, heartbroken smile.

“No,” he whispered.

“Bucky,” Darcy whispered back, tears filling her eyes.

“It’s true, Darce. I wouldn’t go, if not for you. I would have stayed in our house and probably spent the rest of eternity staring at our photos, mourning what I’d lost.” That was because he was a dramatic asshole when he had the energy though. He looked back to Steve. He had a hard time imagining _Steve Rogers_ giving up the fight.

Then again, Steve Rogers was just as much of a dramatic asshole when he wanted to be. Bucky had learned from the best, after all.

He sighed. “Okay, Steve. If this is what you really want.”

Steve nodded. “Thank you, Buck. For everything. I’m glad...I’m real glad I got to see you. Before...you leave, I guess.”

Bucky drew a shaking breath and grabbed Darcy’s hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “Can I get one last hug for the road? Wrap my two favorite people up close?”

“‘Course,” Steve said and stepped away from the edge to come closer.

Bucky tugged Steve into a hug with his right arm and gave Darcy a look. 

_Come on. Understand me. Please. Understand what I need you to do._

Darcy’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before her eyes flicked to Bucky’s arm then back to his eyes again. Her own eyes lit up as she realized what he was doing.

His right arm was his _stronger_ arm in this place. And he was holding Steve in place with it.

Darcy launched herself into Bucky’s left side and wrapped one arm around each man as she ran her thumb over the coin Loki had given her to call for their return. Bucky felt her clutch the back of his shirt just before the whole world tilted, a tug in his chest pulling them all home.

A bright flash of light and the three were gone. 

“ _Really_?” Loki said, still tied to the rock, his voice exasperated and flat. “After everything. _This_ is the thanks I get for -”


	15. Chapter 15

_There's a feeling overwhelming this is where I belong_  
_This melody inseparable from singing this song_  
_I'm floating on the ceiling_  
_Skip beats and I'm forgetting the in-between_  
_“Motion Sickness” - Hands Like Houses_

“What...what just happened?” Steve asked.

“We’re back,” Darcy groaned as she pulled herself to her feet and looked around the empty lab. “...I think.”

“You _think_?” Steve yelped. “What have you done?” 

“Back off, I told her to grab you. You have a problem, take it up with me,” Bucky snapped, lightly pushing Steve and stepping between him and Darcy.

“What gave you the right?” Steve growled. 

“Steve?” 

The trio turned toward the voice. Natasha Romanoff stood in the entrance to the empty lab where they’d landed. Her face was slightly ashen, her lips parted in shock.

“Nat,” Steve breathed.

She took a step into the room as Tony Stark slid into view as he rushed down the hall and into the room. “Holy shit. Short Stack actually did it.”

“Are you referring to me? Because - _rude_ ,” Darcy replied. “And by the way - my mission was Barnes. So not only did I do what you flat out refused to even _attempt_ , I also grabbed two wayward super soldiers for the price of one. You don’t get to call me names, you overgrown gerbil.”

Tony blinked. “That is absolutely correct. My bad, Miss Lewis.”

“AAAGGHGHHH!” Loki slammed into the floor at their feet.

“Oh good, you’re back,” Darcy remarked drily.

“Darcy!” Jane yelled, pushing her way into the room, vaulting over Loki’s prone form, and launching herself at Darcy. “Oh my - tell me everything!”

“Nat, I thought you were dead,” Steve said, ignoring the havoc in the room.

Natasha shook her head.

“Knocked out in the fight. Unconscious for three days after. But not dead. Not even close,” Tony said, taking in the chaos with mildly restrained glee. “What happened to you?”

“Someone had to guard the entrance. Keep it open, while everyone made it back to where they belonged and make sure nothing that wasn’t supposed to be there got in.”

“And after?” Natasha asked, her voice far too even.

Bucky clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Well, not everyone was back until now, right? Job wasn’t finished. Isn’t that right, pal?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right,” Steve said, shifting uncomfortably. 

“We can talk about how you’re lying later,” Tony said, “but right now…” He looked around the room. “Who’s hungry?”

***

Darcy looked around at the massive spread of food in front of her and felt a little ill. Traveling by magic rainbow ax was not easier the second time around and it was going to be a minute before she could even think about eating. She glanced around at the people swarming the food table. What was her life that she got to rub elbows with genius scientists and Norse gods and superheroes? Seriously. The wonder of it all would probably never wear off.

There was one face conspicuously absent, however, and it just so happened to be the only face Darcy really wanted to see at the moment.

“One of these days, you’ll have to tell me how you convinced Rogers to come back with you,” Jane said, sidling up next to her, plate in hand.

“I didn’t really,” Darcy admitted quietly. “He was kinda morosely monologuing and Bucky tricked him into a hug, so I could slide tackle us all back here.” She paused, thinking about that for a moment. “I kinda kidnapped a national icon.”

“I think the FBI will let it slide,” Jane replied, her voice dry.

“Will he?” Darcy asked.

“Steve Rogers can be a reasonable guy,” Jane shrugged. “I doubt he’ll hold it against you.”

“Okay, sure, but I don’t even know the guy. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve pissed of a random dude. I can deal with Captain America’s Eyebrows of Disappointment when I don’t know him and don’t interact with him. But what about Bucky? Think Rogers will ever forgive him?”

“I don’t know,” Jane said, then looked around. “Where is Barnes anyway?”

Darcy sighed. “I’m getting the feeling it’s my lot in life to forever be hunting that boy down.”

“You kinda like it though.”

“I do, Jane. I really think I do.”

***

Bucky had just finished shoo-ing all the kids out of his house when he sensed someone approaching the open door. He tensed slightly, not entirely thrilled at having to send yet another of his well-intentioned neighbors away. It had been a shock to see the kids who had once hung around watching him tend the goats were...grown. It wasn’t the first time he’d opened his eyes and found himself in the future, but it was the first time he’d seen the time etched on the faces of people he had known and cared about. He wasn’t really up to any more surprises today.

“I gotta ask,” Darcy said, interrupting his thoughts, “what’s with the goats?”

He turned toward the door, where Darcy casually leaded against the frame, smiling at him.

“Darcy,” he breathed. 

Her smile faltered when he didn’t answer her question or respond further.

“I can go,” she said.

“No!” he yelled, then winced at his own volume. “No,” he said again, at a much more reasonable volume, trying for a smile. “You can stay. If you want.”

She nodded. “So…goats?”

He huffed out a laugh. “They needed tending. I needed something to do.”

“Please tell me you named them. Please please please tell me that there’s a tiny goat that picks a fight with all the other goats and you named him Steve.”

“There’s one that hangs out with the birds that I named Sam.”

Darcy’s grin softened. “You named one of your goats for Sam?”

“He’s also the only goat dumb enough to try to keep Goat Steve out of trouble.”

Darcy laughed. “A noble goal, but a fool’s errand.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

The smiled at each other in silence for beat before Bucky remembered his manners. Honestly, his mother was probably cursing him from the afterlife.

“I’m so sorry, did you want to come in?” he asked, motioning to the living room. “I don’t...Well, I’ve never actually had company here, so there’s not much in the way of furniture. And if you’re hungry I’d have to go get food. There’s...water?” He winced again. This was a disaster. “I could-”

“Bucky,” Darcy interrupted. “It’s fine. I’m good.” She came in and motioned to the small kitchen counter. He nodded and she hoisted herself up, making herself at home, as he leaned against the counter opposite her.

“You missed the feast. Stark scared up enough food, we probably could have fed the Warriors Three twice over.” Her smile dimmed a little. “If...you know...they were here.” She rubbed at her eyes. “Feels fresh to me, you know? Thor told me what happened to those guys just yesterday, so for me it’s new. But they died years ago now.”

He nodded. “They were friends of yours?”

She shrugged. “Friends of Thor’s. But they were great. I’d always hoped that if Thor and Jane could work it out, I’d see a lot more of them.”

Bucky moved to stand next to her, turning so he could lean against the counter. “I know the feeling. Most of the guys…” his voice trailed off.

“Your Howlies?” Darcy supplied, nudging his side with her knee.

“They’re all gone, save Steve. Died while I was…”

“Indisposed?”

Bucky snorted and Darcy grinned, nudging his side again. He turned to look at her and felt the breath catch in his chest.

“This is so strange.” He stared at her. “I don’t know you.”

“Yeah.”

“But I still love you.”

Darcy nodded. “I don’t know how much of who I was there is also who I am here. I think we’re pretty close to the same person, but…”

His breath hitched. “I know we’re - it’s not - ” The words got all jumbled up somewhere between his brain and his mouth. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m not the guy I was... _there_. I’m not a good guy. But god I want to try, Darcy. Please, can we try?”

“I’d like that. One condition though.”

“Anything. Name it.”

“You work on that ‘I’m not a good guy’ thing, okay? I don’t know your whole story, and it really doesn’t matter to me if you ever tell me everything. But the things I do know? None of it points to you not being a good guy.”

Bucky hesitated then nodded. “I’ll try. For you.”

She shook her head. “Try for you. It’s never gonna work if you don’t do it for you.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask. Now,” she tugged a little at the hem of his shirt, “where do you want to live? Are you happy in Wakanda?”

Bucky was quiet for a long moment, his eyes searching her face. Darcy looked like she was trying her best to remain neutral under his scrutiny, but there was a flicker of nervousness right in the corners of her eyes. He didn’t know - he _couldn’t_ know - what answer she was hoping for. The only thing he could do was be honest with her. 

“I am,” he said slowly, “but you need to be able to follow Jane, right?” He racked his brain, trying to scrounge up any information he might remember from before. “I remember watching you two argue in the lab. You do...science with her?” He looked to Darcy, who nodded her confirmation. That settled that then. Darcy had a life. If he wanted to be part of it, then… “So wherever you go, I’ll go too.”

“Oh buddy. We have a lot of work to do, don’t we?” she sighed. Bucky’s heart broke. 

“We don’t have to decide anything right now,” Darcy continued. “Hell, we don’t have to decide anything...ever. We can go where the wind takes us.” Darcy laced her fingers with his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Janey’s going to get the lab going here again, so she’ll be in Wakanda for a while. We can start here, figure it out as we go. And you know...things change. I might not be trailing after Jane forever. If there comes a point where we have to make a choice...then we choose. It won’t be the end of the world. We’ll do whatever is going to make us happy, whatever is best for us at that moment.”

He nodded. “I just - I want to make you coffee every morning for the rest of my life,” he whispered, choking a little on a half-withheld sob and leaning into her shoulder.

Darcy gave a small nod and reached for him, tucking a bit of his hair back behind his ear. He leaned into the touch. “You make the coffee, I’ll make the eggs. Everything else will sort itself out. Okay?”

He nodded and looked up into her clear blue eyes. “I’m gonna fall in love with you all over again. That alright?”

“I’m counting on it.”


	16. Epilogue

A clap of thunder echoed through the house. Bucky crept through the silent hall, making his way to the large living room window. He peered outside, just as the rain that had been lightly - but steadily - falling all day suddenly turned to an absolute deluge. He rolled his shoulder to ease the ache that always popped up whenever the weather turned wet and miserable. It was easier, now that he’d decided to forgo the prosthetic entirely. It hurt less often and with less intensity. Shuri had argued that she could fix that with time, that the arm had been a gift, and that there were no conditions or expectations attached to it, but he wouldn’t be swayed. He was lighter without it.

In more ways than one.

He watched the trees sway in the wind, the storm ratcheting up in intensity. He eyed a few of the larger branches warily. There might be a bit of time with the chainsaw in his future. He cringed at the thought. 

There was something in the trees. Something dark and foreboding that woke him up and had him walking the halls instead of blissfully sleeping through the storm. Ice crept through his veins as he watched the branches form sinister shapes, only to shift again with the next blast of wind and reform something more terrifying than before.

Something was coming.

Lightning flashed again and he scrubbed his face with his hand as he tensed and waited for the thunder. What he _needed_ was sleep. Things would be better if he could just catch a few hours. But his mind just wouldn’t turn off and the storm swirling outside wasn’t helping. A soft meow at his feet interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey Alpine,” he murmured, reaching down to pick the cat up. She immediately settled into the crook of his arm and blinked up at him slowly, until another rumble of thunder had her trying to burrow further into his chest. He hummed softly to distract her and after a moment, she closed her eyes and began to purr contentedly.

He glanced out the window again, but the feeling had passed. The swaying branches no longer inspired the same dread they had a moment ago.

Cats were magic. It was the only explanation.

“Baby?” Darcy’s sleepy voice echoed in the hall and he turned away from the window.

“Oh Darcy, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Cold without you,” she mumbled as she shuffled closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. She made a kissy-face at Alpine, who nudged Darcy’s cheek with her nose in return. He dropped a kiss into Darcy’s hair.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Couldn’t sleep with the storm.”

“Shoulder?”

“Yeah.”

“Want me to-”

“ _You_ need your sleep. I’ll be fine.”

“ _I_ won’t be, if you’re not,” Darcy grumbled.

He closed his eyes and breathed her in. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you.”

“You’re tired. I understand.”

“I am a very lucky man.”

“We knew that,” Darcy teased and nuzzled his chest while reaching up to pet Alpine. “Is it really just the storm?” she asked, her voice softer than before.

His sigh came out as more of a growl, but Darcy didn’t outwardly react. She just kept stroking Alpine’s soft white fur and patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts. Her calm demeanor was a hard-won thing - three years of dealing with him and his innumerable issues and ever-shifting moods here in the real world had given her plenty of opportunity to practice her patience. 

That and cats were magic. Alpine maybe especially so.

“You know that I love you, right?” he said. “ _You_ , as you are now. Not a memory of who you were in the Soul Realm.”

“I know. I love you, too. As you are.”

He closed his eyes briefly and thanked every passing deity that she did. “You ever think about how we got here?”

Darcy looked up at him as Alpine wriggled away from her touch and climbed onto his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“Things are so different now than they were before Thanos’s madness. There’s a thriving Asgardian colony in Norway. Your pal Loki -”

“More like my employer Loki, whom I tolerate and keep on a very short leash, but go ahead.”

“-went from being public enemy number one to Earth’s begrudgingly adored ambassador. Sam took over as Captain America, Steve retired and is taking his Harley on a tour of the country, I’m apparently best friends with a gun-obsessed raccoon.” 

“A package from Rocket showed up today, by the way, I left it in the garage for you.”

“I saw that, thank you.” He brushed a kiss against her temple and weighed his next words. “If everything that happened...hadn’t happened. Would we still be here?”

“You’re talking about the Soul Realm? What if that hadn’t happened?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Course we would,” she said assuredly. “Immutable fact of the universe, you and me.” She smiled at their common refrain.

“Really?” He really did hate the insecurity in his voice, but this was Darcy he was talking to. He knew it was okay. She made it okay for him to not be okay sometimes.

“Really. Think about it. We were both in Wakanda. We were both in the labs on a regular basis. I’m actually surprised we hadn’t run into each other before all that madness happened.”

“And you really would have given a scruffy goat-herder like me a second glance?”

Darcy narrowed her eyes. “Is this you fishing for compliments? Because I _know_ you’ve looked in the mirror recently. We share a bathroom, you know.”

“I have looked in a mirror recently. It tells me that you and I are not in the same league.”

“Baby, you’re so far out of my league, you’re on the damn _moon_ ,” Darcy teased.

“Is this you fishing for compliments now?”

“Nah. I know I’m your type.”

“That you are.” He leaned down so he could give her a kiss. “You’re perfect for me,” he murmured.

Darcy’s smile grew. “Same goes, baby.” She raised on her tiptoes to kiss him again, lingering a little before settling back on her feet. “Is that what’s keeping you up? You’re worried that - what, we might never have gotten together without the snapture?”

“I really hate that you call it the snapture.”

Darcy let out an evil cackle. “I know. It’s half the reason I do it.”

Bucky groaned and shook his head. “It’s...yeah, it’s partly why I’m still awake.”

“Partly?”

He shifted his shoulders, encouraging Alpine to jump down. He wrapped his arm around Darcy and held her close. She gave him a little squeeze in return, but despite her best efforts the words just wouldn’t come.

“Rule number four, baby,” Darcy whispered and pressed a kiss to his chest.

Rule number four. Whenever one of them enacted rule number four, they could say absolutely anything to one another without fear of judgement or repercussion. She wouldn’t get mad at him or hold whatever it was he had to say against him. He could say what he needed to say, however he needed to say it in order to get the words out of his head and into the air between them. Affection bloomed in his chest at the reassurance.

The problem was that her getting angry at him wasn’t the problem.

“I’m terrified,” he admitted.

Darcy pulled back ever so slightly so she could look at him properly. “Of what?” she asked, her eyes crinkling in concern.

“Of what might - of what _could_ \- happen. After I say what I want to say.”

“Uh...okay,” Darcy’s voice was filled with anxiety and she shifted uneasily. “Well, whatever it is, we’ll meet it together, yeah?”

“That’s just it. What if we can’t?”

“There’s nothing we can’t do if we’re together, baby,” Darcy replied firmly.

“I know.” He took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?”

Darcy froze briefly then took a small step back, studying his face. “You’re worried I’m going to disappear.”

“I won’t survive losing you again,” he murmured.

“Bucky,” she breathed, then launched herself into him, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist attacking his face with her lips with gusto. He stumbled backward in surprise, his legs hitting the couch and he collapsed onto it, pulling Darcy into his lap with a yelp.

“You bet your sweet ass I’ll marry you! I’m gonna marry you so hard, Buckster!” Darcy exclaimed between kisses. She brushed her fingers over his cheek and he felt moisture spread in their wake. 

Oh. That was him. He was crying.

Her expression softened. “The last time you asked me to marry you, I disappeared not long after. That’s why you’re afraid.”

He nodded and felt another tear slip. Darcy wiped it away.

“But what happened after that?”

“What?”

“After I disappeared. What happened?”

He thought back, wondering what she could be referring to. He’d told her the details ages ago - he’d woken up, realized Darcy was gone, then wandered the empty streets for hours looking for anyone before going back to their house and breaking down. That’s where she’d found him.

Oh.

“You found me.”

“Damn right I did. And I’ll do it again, and again, and again, and again. As many times as I have to.” She leaned in a pressed a lingering kiss to his lips, soft and sweet. “I’m marrying you, Bucky Barnes. You’ve officially been around long enough for me to declare - you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

He stared at her in wonder. “You remember that?” he whispered.

“Told you it would all come back eventually.” She leaned in and touched her forehead to his. “We’re gettin’ married,” she whispered in a song-song voice.

He reached into his pocket. “Guess this means you’ll be needing this.” He held the ring out to her. “Want to do the honors or can I put it on?”

Darcy stared at it. “Bucky...where - how - what?” She blinked a few times. “Is this...did you draw up the design and find someone to make this?”

“No,” Bucky replied quietly. “It’s your ring...from...there. I brought it with me. I couldn’t...I just…”

Darcy reached for him, lightly running her fingers against the stubble on his cheek and back into his hair. “Baby,” she whispered. He tried to give her a smile, but he knew it came out half-hearted at best. 

Lucky for him, Darcy knew exactly how to draw out his smile.

“Is this how we make an Infinity Stone? I’m pretty sure this is how we make an Infinity Stone.” she teased.

He huffed out a laugh and he could feel the smile she was aiming for break out across his face, like the sun breaking through the clouds. “You gonna give in to those latent megalomaniac tendencies?”

“Not this week.”

“Then if we keep quiet about it, I’m sure it’s fine.”

“If you insist,” Darcy murmured against his lips before kissing him again. “Jane’s going to be so excited she beat Tony in the pool.”

Bucky groaned. “There was a pool?”

“There’s always a pool.”

“How big?”

“Jane said fifty, but she’s pretty sure Tony thought she meant fifty _thousand_ so. That will be fun.”

“ _She_ can pay for a wedding then.”

“Spoilsport.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, baby. Yes I do. And guess what.”

“What?”

“I’m going to marry the _shit_ out of you.”

“Yeah,” he grinned. “I’m gonna marry the shit outta you right back. That okay?”

“Yeah, baby. That sounds just fine.” Darcy kissed him once more - honeyed and lingering, with so much promise - then pulled away slightly with a grin. “Now, back to bed with you. You have to be up in a few hours to make my coffee.”

“Will you be up to make the eggs?”

“Yep. In this universe or any other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Let's cry about superheroes together - I'm seibelsays on [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/seibelsays), [Dreamwidth](https://seibelsays.dreamwidth.org), and [Tumblr](https://seibelsays.tumblr.com). For just writing updates, you can find me [@seibelsays-andwrites](https://seibelsays-andwrites.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.
> 
> Until next time, may all your favorite bands stay together.
> 
> <3 seibelsays


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